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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Birthday Present

6 replies

lifeisavibe · 25/06/2022 17:10

So, long story short, I’ve been really unhappy in my relationship for at least 2 years. I know I should end it but I can never bring myself to have the conversation.
DP is either blissfully unaware, or happy to play pretend.
We often go through spells on not talking (he’s either in a mood or we just can’t be bothered speaking to each other) and the main topic of conversation is DS. We rarely do things as a family and when we do it’s more hassle than it’s worth. I’m better off planning and doing things alone or with family or friends.
As I say, I know I should leave but I can never bring myself to ask if he’s happy or just say I’m leaving.
However, the main reason behind this post is, it’s his birthday this week and when I asked what he wanted his reply was “sex” even though we haven’t been intimate in months. Do I or don’t I?

OP posts:
RoyKentsChestHair · 25/06/2022 17:15

Sex isn’t a gift you bestow on someone when you don’t want it yourself. That’s one step away from being a prostitute. Why would he want you to have sex you’re not bothered about to please him? Gross.

No you don’t give him sex as a birthday gift. Give yourself the gift of singledom instead.

girlmom21 · 25/06/2022 17:22

You don't want sex with him so don't have sex. It's not something you gift somebody.

User1406 · 25/06/2022 21:59

I'd say don't. Sex isn't some kind of sacred prize or gift.

How did you respond to him when he asked you? Considering things aren't great and sometimes you barely speak, seems a bit of a weird answer for him to give.

YRGAM · 25/06/2022 22:24

Have you actually talked to him, openly and honestly, about how you are feeling?

Shoxfordian · 25/06/2022 22:49

Obviously you should split up with him not have sex with him

DatingDinosaur · 25/06/2022 22:53

“when I asked what he wanted his reply was “sex” ”

And your response to him was…?

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