Can't stop thinking of ex boyfriend even tho I'm engaged..how to stop?

[greengreengrasss]

Hi,pretty much that really.
He has been a ex of 2 1/2 years now.
It was a awful awful break up...it ended very bad.
I'm now engaged to someone else and we have a lovely life but I can't stop thinking of my ex.
This isn't just once in a blue moon..I think about him multiple times a day.
Places we went together..when I go I think of him.
I don't know if I still feelings for him or just wonder what we could have been.

What do I do ?
I dream about him a lot.
The last dream was he text me apologising for what he did and I woke up happy...then I remembered it was a dream.

God I sound nuts don't I
He treated me awful and I'm still pining

Do you think I still have feelings? Is this normal ?

You have a healthy emotional connection with your current partner but don't have the sexual chemistry as strong as your ex? That's probably why you are thinking about him. Lustful relationships burn out out quickly when there isn't anything more substantial holding it together, I would envy anyone who finds both in a partner.

There is a reason why he is an ex, and surely you need to remember that more, that it wasn't working, focus on what makes you happy.
Possibly it's a bit soon for an engagement? don't rush into marrying him just yet.

Would you want to go ahead with the marriage if you found that out?

Because you're taking away your fiancé's right to make an informed decision.

If he wouldn't marry you if he knew that you thought constantly every day about your ex from a couple of years ago, then it's completely unfair to go through with the wedding.

It would be genuinely cruel to do so OP.

I think you need to be single and have some therapy to explore why you're unable to move past this and potentially some ongoing treatment to stop what sound almost like intrusive thoughts.

I held a torch for my ex for years and met
up with him for a drink. I’d wasted years hankering after him but it was just a fantasy and when l got the chance to potentially get back with him I didnt want
him

Same, hankered for YEARS and we ended up back in touch- lots of intense zooming (he moved continents after the break up.) He came back to visit and came straight to see me from the airport. As soon as we saw each other in the flesh, I don't think either of us felt the same way any more. All the things I'd found exciting about him suddenly seemed dickish. We did actually get drunk and shag each other, and that was awful too. We've completely lost touch now.

What I'm saying is, you've put your ex on a pedestal- it's easy to forget what a twat someone is and remember the exciting bits, especially when the relationship ends suddenly and you don't really have closure. I think you need some time on your own to process this before you commit to someone else really.