I'm worried that I'm doing this all wrong- what is good 3 months in?

[martinao]

I'm 34 and I've never had a relationship, even as a teenager. I really like him and I'm having a lot of fun, but I also feel like I'm floundering at times. I'm so used to being on my own and it's strange planning for another person being there.

Just take it easy and don't put pressure on yourself.

Are you still juts seeing eachother or have you had the chat about it being official yet?

We're official, just had that chat last week. It's so hard to explain- I'm always worrying that I'm saying or doing the wrong thing, and it feels overwhelming at times that there is the 'expectation' of making plans with him.

If something feels overwhelming for you, it is OK to ask for space. Just because he wants to spend time with you, doesn't mean you have to spend more time with him than makes you comfortable.

I'm assuming he is not love bombing you (Google it). And that its just that you are used to having so much time with it just being you that it feels weird to spend it with another person. But just be aware that 'overwhelming' is never good.

It's OK to say 'hey, I had fun today but I need some me time so...catch you in a few days?'. And 'I'm so used to it just being me so it feels a little odd to spend so much time with another person. Don't get me wrong, I love your company! But i often need personal time too in order for me to recharge.

If he is a decent person then he will understand (and probably feel the same). If he pushes you to doing everything with him and ignores your boundaries then he is not a keeper (and may be a love bomber).

At best, you need to practice stating your needs. Ans recognise that you have every right to them. And if he seems to disagree then id run very fast in the other direction. Hopefully though, he will respect you.

I don't think he's lovebombing at all- he's just more used to being sociable and is definitely much more relaxed about dating. His friends/family are also much more used to him bringing the odd girlfriend around whereas that would be a huge deal to mine.

He's been really supportive of me but gently encouraging me at the same time.