I'm not really sure what I'm looking for out of this, but I wanted to get it out somewhere, I was meant to get married tomorrow.
I left my abusive ex at the end of last year (with the help and support of you lovely mumsnetters) and have dreaded this day rolling around. The exit was painful and I had to retract all my invitations, cancel suppliers, all on my own, we lost our flat, sold/divided our possessions and I've lost our shared group of friends as I was the one that left plus his family and lovely nephews and nieces.
I feel I had a very lucky escape as life with him would have been miserable. We now have no ties, but have mourned the shared hopes and dreams and the loss of a long relationship. He was an abusive, controlling bully, and while it took me a while to get free from him I know my future self will thank me for it.
Since I left I've tried to rebuild my life, I'm having counselling, moved into a house share, made new friends, and adopted a lovely rescue cat, I'm trying to focus on the positives but today I feel awful.
Some relatives who had already booked to travel for the wedding decided to keep their booking after we cancelled the wedding so it hurts knowing that they are there still. Social media is full of weddings every weekend and its driving me insane!
Hand hold please while I make it through today and tomorrow😔