Bit of backstory: married for 6 years, together for around 8. We have one DC who is just coming up to a year old. We also have recently moved cities.
So, over the last year I've been on maternity leave with DC and have obviously been spending a lot of time at home. DH has done work from home even before covid, but did used to go into the office every once in a while. It used to work well for us and I always felt we were very compatible. I was really looking forward to having him around a lot more while DC was small and getting some extra light help.
Lately though, I've found his presence at home more and more frustrating. It feels like he relies on me for absolutely everything and has no life or hobbies outside of the home. (The last time he actually went out with someone other than me or my family was on May 5th to play squash with an NCT friend)
Every day he walks the dog for an hour, then he goes to the office and comes down throughout the day constantly for water, teas and food (this is fine - but I feel like I'm always being checked up on almost??)
My DH says that I'm irritable, snappy and cause arguments out of nothing - but to me he is constantly looming around the house, constantly nitpicking at small things (like why the duvet isn't stuffed correctly into the bedding or why I've done things a certain way)
He whines when he has no clean clothes, even though I do my best to stay on top of it - and has voided any responsibility to me when it comes to feeding and cleaning the household.
The other issues we have are that one of our cats consistently poops outside the litter tray. We've tried everything but after being pregnant, he is supposed to have taken on the responsibility of cleaning those trays and yet fails to do it everyday until I feel like I have to nag him to do it. (Maybe I'm being unreasonable here I don't know!)
He says we're not having sex enough, but to be honest I find it hard to feel attracted to him when he's always there. I just want some time to myself at this point.
I try to get out with DC as much as possible but they're a poor napper outside the home and it impacts on night sleep so I like being around for those windows. Also there's only so much I can do with a 11 month old!
I'm hoping that when I get back to work and go into the office a bit more things will improve but at the moment I feel like our relationship is crumbling by the day. Any advise? Am I being a complete b?