This is the whole truth and I really need some help with this...
I came out of a relationship just over a year ago after 18 years with a Narcissist. I felt so happy.
Then I met up with a man I went to school with. It was like an instant connection. We started dating and he started to sleep over etc after a few months. But I noticed he was always on WhatsApp. But in a shifty secretive way.
6 months down the line I found out he was drunk texting his ex saying he still loved her.
She screen shot and sent me the texts. They had not been split long so I sort of got it...
Somehow we stayed together. (Maybe this is where I went wrong)
He has no contact with her anymore and we are 4 more months down the line but I don't trust him.
I look at his phone, I feel insecure, paranoid. I hate it. And now we have another problem. TikTok! He's always on it. He's accidentally love hearted videos of teenage girls dancing, but they are always really provocative and slightly pervy videos. We fell out over it. I don't feel it's appropriate for a 48 year old man to do that! And I find it a bit embarrassing! But also it makes me feel old and ugly and fat. He only watches the skinny young beautiful hardly dressed girls...
anyway i spoke to him about it and he agreed to not do it again. But now he's switched off his watch history so I can't see what he's viewed and His TikTok feed is full of inappropriate young teenage girls hardly dressed.
I've told him how I feel about it, but he says I'm controlling. I don't even know if I'm right or wrong for how I feel- I just feel worthless cos I've asked him nor to do it. I just want him to stop it.
Our relationship hasn't been easy.
Should I end it before it goes in too far?
Or am I being stupid?
Help!