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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Help me get over this breakup?

3 replies

Spritelite · 23/06/2022 19:19

I broke up with my ex about a week ago. I’ve been wanting to do it for ages but was worried about how hard things would be without him.

It was a crap relationship, he was ridiculously messy and lazy and sulked all the time and exploded over nothing and was negative about absolutely everything all the time, including my looks. He loves our daughter but expects me to do everything for her while he makes the atmosphere really tense and stressful. He was also a massive drain on money because he couldn’t be bothered working.

Despite all of that I’m still struggling with the breakup and need help snapping out of it. I’m pretty isolated and if I don’t have my ex to talk to then I go days on end without speaking to anybody. I have nobody to chat with, nobody to share news with, it’s just me sat here alone all the time with only my 3yo for company because I’m really not the type of person who can just go make friends with strangers. I feel absolutely numb and I can’t eat, can’t enjoy things, I’d probably just lie there and stare at the ceiling for a month straight if I didn’t have DD to care for. I got my hair done yesterday to cheer me up, but I just zoned out feeling numb and I bet the hairdresser thought I was a right miserable sod!

I can’t take antidepressants because of a heart problem so I’m going to have to snap out of this myself. I’ve never felt like this before, usually I just feel upset for a couple of weeks then get over it but this time is so different and the lack of any emotion is scaring me. Any advice?

OP posts:
User1406 · 23/06/2022 22:14

You need some social interaction.

I haven't been in your situation but I'm comparing this to when I was unemployed for a while. I just spent all my time cooped up at home, not speaking or seeing anyone, and it heavily heightened my anxiety.

I am going to assume you don't work? Could you get a part-time job? It will give you a bit of structure, some more purpose, and get your socialising with people again.

Being by yourself with no adults to interact with is hard, and you're going to have way too much time to overthink things and to get into your own head.

At least get yourself out for a walk to get some fresh air each day. Can you also go to any mum and baby groups? Or any softplay centres where you could meet other mums?

velvetvixen · 23/06/2022 22:20

The above advice is sound.You'll get sorted! just please don't take that twat back because you're currently lonely.

velvetvixen · 23/06/2022 22:20

*Be sorted

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