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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

I feel so frightened about the way I feel

2 replies

majormumma · 23/06/2022 15:51

I have two DC, one is starting school the other just turned one. Have been married 3 years together for 7. At the beginning of our relationship, only a few months in I lost my mum and I think that really fast tracked our relationship and maybe my dependence on him.
I love him but we’re very different people now, I think we were from the beginning. He’s a great dad, he’s a kind person. I just can’t help feeling like this marriage is no longer right, whenever I’m alone I think about it, I can’t stop crying and I feel so scared. I don’t know if I’m depressed because of the relationship and it’s dawned on me that this isn’t right or because of something else. I don’t know what to do next? I’m frightened to mess up my kids, frightened to break my husbands heart, frightened to be seen as a failure, 30, divorced with two kids. Does anyone have any advice? He knows something is wrong but I don’t even know where to start in explaining to him.
there’s no abuse, we just don’t really have much in common, we don’t laugh, our conversations are transactional, is this just a blip in the road? I don’t know.

OP posts:
SoSo19 · 23/06/2022 16:22

I’m so sorry you’re feeling like this OP and im so sorry about your mum.

Could you afford therapy to explore how you’re feeling? It could be that now you are further along from losing your mum that you are starting to realise that this relationship isn’t right for you, and that’s ok.

You deserve to be happy, and if the marriage ends you won’t be a failure and your children will adjust in time.

Please speak to someone x

muchofamuchnessme · 23/06/2022 18:22

Kids are young, so probably better at that age imo (non scientific)

It is scary all around. First port of call I think is communicating with husband. Easier said than done I know.

I've just started again after 14 years. With nothing. No job, no money luckily some parental support for a few months and 8 months down the line I am very happy. It was a dark place for a long time.

You have to ask yourself a question. Are you willing to carry on like this for the rest of your life?

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