To preserve my sanity I think I am going to have to divorce dh and give up all rights to my LO's (MIL rant)

[ComeOVeneer]

The woman never stops. Lastest gem of her's is as follows.

Her father remarried after dh was born so she has a step mum. Stepmum's nephew (so no "real" relation to dh but similar age) is coming over to england (he lives in SA) for 3 months to do a course. Said course is being held about 15 minutes away from where we live. SO MIL phones me today (full knowing dh is away for the week on business so I can't get him to intervenee) to say she has offered our spare room (we don't actually have a spare room as dh turned it into his study, but do have a sofa bed in the playroom), to him for the duration. SHe expects us to put up some guy we have only met about 3 times for 3 bl**dy months.

DH will of course be sorting this mess out when he returns

that sounds like my DH's nan!! she offered DH's cousin who we have never met-ever- our babys bedroom for the 6 week holiday he was planning from th US!! i said no and had a little argument with her and she had to ring him to rearrange!! that was nearly 2 years ago now and she has never subletted any of the rooms in our house since...progress...i think so!! we were meant to relocate our newborn DD's belongings to our already tiny and choca block bedroom and sort out a bed to sleep in hahaha i did laugh at that one
xx ei xx

Sorry that should read stepmother's grandson, not nephew. (not that it makes any difference).

Oh COV - she is a one! Laugh my dear. If you didn't you would cry!

Would love to be a fly on the wall when DH is sorting it out!

Whenever I get any kind of phone call from my in-laws (and they inevitably speak to me, as dh doesnt take any kind of crap from them). I reply, your sons out (if he is), here's his mobile number' and then I hang up.

oh no no non o

3 months?

She's crazy

I wouldn't wait for him to return...

I would phone her back and say you have discussed it with your DH and think that 3 months is far to long to have a visitor in the house especially as you don't actually have a spare room etc..

Stand your ground NOW, do not let her walk over you.. (says Heifer who would probably ask what the man likes to eat to make sure we have it in etc..)

Surely the guy will realise that 3 months if far too long and will turn down the offer anyway?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

shame foxie has already let her room, you could have referred him on...

I told her on the phone that it wasn't an option as we can't ban the children from the playroom for 3 months fgs. But she simply replied, "well I've made the offer now so it is too late" . She won't take "no" for an answer and I can't get through to her. SHe has this bizzare attitude that anything "belonging" to dh she has rights over as he is her son .

ffs tell her to shove it up her fecking arse

actually give me her number - I'll do it for you

Tell her that it's absolutely not too late, she shouldn't have offered someone else's hospitality without their agreement and you're very sorry but he will not be coming to stay at your house.

Be as blunt as you like, she's been v v rude and inconsiderate towards you, deserves a bit of bluntness in return i'd say.

I would try and sort it out if she would actuallt listed to me but she jsut kind of waves her hand in a dissmisive way. Only dh can actually get through to her.

Do you have a number for this person? Call them and say you've just spoken to MIL. Ever so sorry, you're sure he'll understand but you don't have the room to offer but MIL (as she has mislead you) has kindly offered to pay for a hotel for 3 months - she said just to send her the bill.

No I'm not even sure where in SA he lives. I'm sure MIL does these things deliberately as she just can't bear not to be the controlling factor in dh's life any more, so finds ways of getting involved where she is not welcome. (I don't mean she isn't welcome in my home, just not welcome constantly interfering in our lives)

Oh no COV, sounds pretty outrageous that she's offered your 'spare' rm without even checking with you first Puts you in an awkward spot doesn't it? Hope DH can remedy the situation and find aletrantive accom for teh guy. Surely the people organising the course can help the grandson with that?

I assume they can but MIL said "oh you must stay with Mrcov to save you the cost of lodgings/hotel" (because the exchange rate is so dire for those coming from SA - btw he is in his 30's and an accountant so hardly "poor"). Isn't she thoughtful