In desperate need of advice

[Sillyallie]

Hi,

I'm new to Mumsnet but I'm desperately in need of advice.
I'm 30 years old and I have two children. Iv been married for 9 years. My husband has been abusing alcohol since the very beginning. He is good with his words and every time he got into trouble he told me he'd stop and that finally his eyes have opened to the fact that he had problems. Iv seen this man hold a knife to my back while being pregnant ( he says he was holding the sharp end) don't think that matters what end it was. because I wouldn't give him the car keys to get more alcohol. Iv been dragged down the stairs and into the streets begging him not to leave the house as he wanted to drink drive. He's crashed multiple times. Thankfully not hurting anyone else.theres a endless list of abuse (verbal and emotional). I can't do this no more. His problems are just worsening and the abuse is affecting me in more ways than one. He is very clever and I'm yet to see him lose anything. He's manipulative and controlling. He's moved out now but the abuse is still in full force. If anyone could recommend a good legal firm, solicitor in the west Midlands area or even point me in the right direction I'd much appreciate it. Thanks

I have no useful information, but others who know a lot will be along soon.Meanwhile I just wanted to say well done for making plans to protect yourself and your DC. Good luck xx

I’m really glad you’re making arrangements to leave him.
He is abusing alcohol but he is also abusing you. You deserve someone to treat you much much better than this.
Don’t be persuaded to stay. I won’t get better even if he promises you it will.

I used a legal firm in Nuneaton back in 2012 and assume they are still there. Please call your local woman’s aid as they will have resources also their website is great where you can find all this information too.

I left uncanny similar marriage and you will too. All the best

Which part of the midlands? I can recommend a firm in Worcester if that's any help to you. You definitely need to keep yourself and your children away from him. He needs treatment and you need a break to heal and recover from the stress and abuse. You may want to seek counselling for yourself and your children.
The domestic abuse abuse charity is very helpful.
Good luck.

Yes please. Any legal firms would be appreciated. I'm in the west midlands. Really appreciate all the kind words.

Contact some solicitors local to you and sound them out. I would also be asking them about non molestation orders going forward.

i would also suggest you contact Al-anon as well as Womens Aid.

Iv contacted some local solicitors. No one is ready to give me advice unless I instructed them to act on my behalf and honestly I just want to know my ways out and then decide what I want to do.

I know iv not really been active here but I'm really struggling. Me and the ex had agreed that he would see them Saturday at 3. 3 weeks ago he says I can't see them the following weekend as I'm going on holiday. Then later in that week he says he's booking a day out for them. Then he says he will confirm that with me. Weekend came and I hadn't heard from him so I thought he's on holiday. Late that Saturday night he texts " you were supposed to bring the girls" as we had agreed.i told him he was supposed confirm what he wanted to do.go on holiday or book a day out with the kids. He told me that he'd book next weekend Sunday (tomorrow) to take them out. Which was fine.yesterday he told me to pack extra clothes incase of accident or if they leak and to have them ready for 10am. Today mid-day I get a txt saying " I know I'm having them tomorrow but could I spend the afternoon with them today as well" I had made plans but agreed as I don't want a argument. This evening he texts again saying the weather is not good tomorrow so I'l take them next weekend. Iv already made plans for the weekend with them which they are very excited about. I'm not canceling them because the weather doesn't suit you.when I went to pick up the kids I asked if he could confirm if he wanted them tomorrow or not. He said no I don't want them tomorrow but I want them the following weekend. I'm sorry plan something and stick to it otherwise no one has a gun to his head to spend time with the kids. I'm sorry but iv been more accommodating than he deserves.pick any other day. He told me I'm using the kids as weapons and if I didn't let him take the kids he'd stop seeing them. To which I replied " it will be your loss"
Am I being reasonable?
Am I the crazy one?
They are his biological kids too so why the coldness?
If that wasn't bad enough he has been telling the kids that he has a new wife so they have 2 mom's.THEY ARE MY BABIES. IM THERE WHEN THEY FALL AND I WONT LEAVE THEM FOR ANYTHING! NO ONE IS THEIR MOM BUT ME! THEY ARE MINE. he can have 100 wives but how dare he tell the kids without my knowledge that they have 2 moms who would love them just as me.
Am I wrong?
So angry