Married with infatuation with another married person!!

[Jayanna89]

So everyday after school we go to the local park for a couple of hours to let the kids play and I’ve always got on incredibly well with a dad who goes there every day also. The kids get on and share snacks etc. I’ve always had a very mild crush on him nothing to be worried or concerned about.

But then he invited me out for coffee and I just thought that’s nice and friendly so we go for a coffee in town one morning. THEN he asks me out a week later for another coffee and he picks me up in his car and we go to a a beautiful spot and have another coffee and get on very well chatting etc. when he’s dropping me back he says in the car that I’m a very lovely person and very beautiful and he has strong feelings for me.. and also texts me later on saying he had a great time and I’m very “addictive” and my husband is a lucky man… (then deleted text shortly after)

Then I suddenly find myself completely infatuated with him to the point of not sleeping as I can’t shake the butterflies!! How did I let myself get so obsessed! I have a completely lovely husband who I’ve been with for 10 years and 3 amazing kids and this guys also married with kids …

I tell my husband everything and that definitely helped me not be so obsessed… but I see him every afternoon and I feel completely draw to him still ..

I would never consider having an affair. But I wish I would stop thinking about this guy like this!!!!… he’s not even very attractive..

i will definitely not meet him for coffee again. He hasn’t asked me but what shall I say if he does? I don’t think it’s appropriate? I have feelings for you so it’s not a good idea?

staying away from the park isn’t really an option as it’s my only time to chill out and meet other mums and the kids play so happily with their friends…

‘No thanks’?

I think I would avoid the park a bit or him if I didn’t want to go down that road. Maybe the butterflies are because it’s something new as being married for 10 years they have possibly faded. Maybe concentrate on doing some nice things with dh .

Whatever you do don't say to him that you can't see him as you have feelings for him. How would that make things better? He would see that as a sign you are potentially up for an affair.

If he asks again - a simpy 'no thanks' will say everything you need to say. If you are worried about hurting his feelings, think how you would feel if your DH was saying that about a woman who fancied him and who he'd spent a couple if 'dates' with. If he didn't want to hurt her feelings.

You will get over this crush. It's not real. You don't really know him. All you do know is he's a married man who is happy to proposition other women. Steer well clear.

Are you taking the piss, OP?

Grow up.

It's the novelty of being desired by someone new and exciting. That can be powerful.

Best if you avoid him tbh. Things can progress/spiral quickly.

Surely you can see he's a bad person? Don't spend time with him anymore.

“You will get over this crush. It's not real. You don't really know him. All you do know is he's a married man who is happy to proposition other women. Steer well clear.”

This.

And this:

“It's the novelty of being desired by someone new and exciting. That can be powerful.

Best if you avoid him tbh. Things can progress/spiral quickly.”

He’s shown you he’s a player. I’m sure you’re fab but the fact he felt able to make a move almost certainly means he’s done it before. It was actually a massive liberty on his part to behave that way towards you. Good for you for telling your husband. I feel sorry for his wife.

How did your husband react when you "told him everything" about your obsession?

Perhaps considering his feelings will help you get over your infatuation.

Ah yeah married men who flirt with married women. Irresistible. Surely nothing could go wrong here.

It's sudden infatuation due to him giving you attention. Does your DH generally compliment you or make you feel attractive?

This bloke is putting feelers out with you for his own fucked up reasons.

You said yourself he's not even that attractive so imagine him straining on the loo 😂, or picking his nose or how his partner would feel about this if she knew about his shady behaviour.

It's worth giving you and your DH a chance before you go down this dodgy road.

As others have said it's the attention. You're happily married and attention from someone else hasn't even crossed your mind. I can guarantee he's done it before/will do again. He's trying it on...

Proactively put an end to it. Text back and say "he is very lucky but so am I. He's a wonderful husband and I'm very happy". Then delete and go no contact

Wow.

Why are you thinking about hurting this random mans feelings?

if you don’t want an affair and don’t want to break up your family - just say thanks but no thanks and you are married

it shouldn’t even be a dilemma for you should it

Limerance