How to get sole custody of my son after discovery of images of child abuse?

[Todonow]

My partner was arrested for possession of indecent images of children.
He downloaded videos of category A (the most severe), B and C of children as young as 5 years old, 8 years old, 10, 11 and teenagers.
He is sick and told me he did it for the excitement of the tabboo.

We have a baby together. Is it possible for me to apply for sole custody or something similar and ask for him not to be around my child anymore?
I moved here for him. Is it possible for me to move back to my home (abroad) with the baby?

Thank you

if you have the funds I would tempted to do a runner abroad and go back home. Even if he can legally stop you do you think he’d actually have the funds and will to get you dragged back? Does your baby have a passport?

I would think social services will deal with all that. Ask the police.

Probably illegal but I’d just go. You’ll need family support anyway. Don’t say anything to him or anyone who could tell him. Sort everything you can out whilst you’re here and leave.

I’m so sorry you’re going through this.

I would check if your home country is part of The Hague convention (reunite website has useful info on this). If so, you need legal advice. It's not a given that just because he has charges pending, you can move away without consequences - you could be made to return your child to the uk.

Get some legal advice and advice from childrens services. They will support your decision to stop contact as he is a risk. Then Id just go. You have reasons the court will respect... hes a risk, you are going home where you and baby will have support. I cant imagine him having a very strong voice if he tries to exercise his PR and get a prohibited steps order to prevent you. Given his conviction. But he may well do so.
I presume hes lost his job too? So you have also lost income...could housing be provided by family at home? This is another justifiable reason to go.
I think you need to be where there is support. Im so sorry this happened.

Which part of the UK are you in? And is he named on the birth certificate?

Have you told the police what he told you?

You don't need to get sole custody-you have it by default as you're not going to physically let him near your child again.
As for him, he isn't going to be allowed within 50ft of a child for a very very very long time. If ever. All his tech is going to monitored going forward..
I don't think you need to worry to be honest

My ex was allowed to see my children (a lot older) (and saw him as adults) and has had further children with his new wife who stood by him so I would speak to social work about the kids ASAP. I honestly don’t know why these men are allowed anywhere near kids ever again. Sorry for what’s happened. The Lucy faithful trust/stop it now are good for support/info in this scenario.

You need legal advice from a family law solicitor, but I would certainly look at getting a residency order in your favour, and a prohibited steps order to stop him from coming near you and your baby.
If he has parental responsibility unfortunately he has rights despite what he's done. It's completely wrong but don't rely on the system protecting you, I know from experience it doesn't.

Hi op.

I have experience of this professionally. Have you spoken to the Lucy faithful foundation? They support families of offenders. Though their support group online is biased towards women who support their partners so you may not find it what you want.

The assumption from social services will ge that your partner has no contact until the court case finishes which could be some time.

You should not rely on social services and if you can afford it you should get a solicitor with a family law background who has experience in these cases. This is a common situation sadly.

Once your partner is sentenced there may be further restrictions and he may not be allowed to spend time alone with your child.

But you may have to fight on this.

possibly but in this senario I’d just go. Worst case is she is no worse off than now. Any judge would have sympathy on a woman in this senario.

Thank you everyone for your help.

The current bail condition and condition given by social services is that he is not allowed unsupervised contact until bail ends.

I caught him watching it and reported him to the police. He confessed everything to me.
My concern is what happens after bail ends. I'm really scared especially if for some reason they decide to drop the case or don't find the evidence (he deleted them and I got phone call from the investigator saying they had almost finished scanning his laptop and hadn't found anything and that they were going to start looking through his phone now - which is what he used. But from how they spoke to me, I felt that they were pretty sure they wouldn't find anything at all. Said investigator later transfered the case to a more specialised team. Im not sure what it means.)

Please don't listen to this OP, it is dangerous advice. The courts do not care and women all over the world are in horrendous situations because of this stupid law.

Nearly all countries are Hague now.

Contact GlobalArrk asap.

In these circumstances I would do the same . You may even find you're partner doesn't challenge because it'll raise the profile of his offending

Please don’t do a runner and go and see a family lawyer.

Yes it’s very tempting. But you would be abducting the child and he could end up with the custody of the child instead. NOT GOOD.

IF however, you can get him to agree for you to go back to your home country for a few months (signed document or at least some texts as proof etc…), you might be able to claim residency after 3 months and deal with the custody issue from there. If the law is strongly in favour of mums, it might be worth doing. Be careful though because some countries such as France are very keen on keeping visits with the father.

Do you think your baby is actually at risk?

I’d just go

You say they’ve not found any evidence but also that there’s certain numbers of category A videos etc. Have they caught him with these or not?

As has been asked - are you in England, is he named on the birth certificate?

Unfortunately this is untrue - many convicted sex offenders (even involving children victims) are still allowed to see their children and family members children. Not unsupervised obviously but don’t bank on him not being allowed anywhere near them. I would also say don’t bank on him even getting any more than a caution st worse, suspended sentence at best if it is his first offence (I know from experience). I’m so sorry you are going through this. Lucy faithful foundation are great, definitely reach out to them x

I would speak to SS and the police safeguarding team, as well as a family lawyer. Unfortunately, very little is done to protect children in families of sexual offenders. I have 2 in my family.

Neither have ever been banned from contact with children (one had a condition on his parole that he could not stay overnight in the same house as a child without the parents consent formally given to the parole officer). The other one had no restrictions as he pled guilty. Both actually abused a child within the family. There was no support for us and no transparency.

As a first step, I would express your concerns to SS and others and be in touch with NSPCC. (Me personally, I would probably try to make a deal that I’d go quietly without outing him if he quietly approved you moving back to your home country.)

Would you allow this man to be alone with your child?

Never EVER let him near your child again.

I'm assuming you are in contact with the police and social services?

Have you actually reported him to the police?

Ex PC here.... They will find what they are looking for on his phone! Can your family help you and your baby get home?

Fuck, this is terrifying!

Surely the fact he’s confessed means that he won’t be allowed anywhere near your baby

I think I’d speak to the police about what you can do