Infidelity in a Marriage and Cheating in Single Partner Relationship Part 1 of 2

[cakes1]

There are countless of ( casual, dating, hook-up websites and websites mainly for married men and women) encouraging and promoting infidelity and others for cheating on single partners for both men and women in all kinds of stable - open or casual relationships etc.

These websites net billions of pounds in revenue profit generated by the online registered profiles operating an online paywall business model for men and some women and for website registered profile memberships are free for some random websites for bot men and women etc.

What is obvious about companies that manage these websites online is that their overall goal is to generate profit by encouraging and promoting infidelity and cheating for married spouse/s and single partner/s to create profiles on their money-making online platforms.

The companies that manage such online platforms do not really care who gets hurt in the process of making money for their business at all.

Registered members - users of such websites are paying clients, paying customers. Victims of cheating married spouse or single partner are unknown individuals who are unaware of the fact they are being cheated by registered users of such websites that [ encourage and promote infidelity and cheating ] which impacts all kinds of relationships under the sun, a married spouse: man or woman or a singe partner dating a boyfriend or girlfriend may be unaware their partner is cheating "they say 3 is a crowd in any relationship " how about you "double or triple this number multiple sexual lovers in a day or week your married spouse or single partner may be in contact with or sleeping with ? ". okay fine if you are in an open marriage or in an open relationship then these rules don't apply right?

But this posting is focusing - on those married couples and single partner unmarried couples - who are unaware their "dearest love " is cheating on them behind their backs and this "illicit encounter " becomes their second full-time hobby like one goes to the gym for body work out.

What l find disturbing is how married men and women casually create profiles online, publicly announcing that "whilst they are happily or unhappily married" - they are still looking for that special person missing in their life as a friend or lover ? or that they are looking for some to create a "spark" in their life but don't want to "rock the boat with their marriage nor change their current marriage situation at home, oh ! and that they are not looking for any sex scammer - seriously now- omg ? - the cheek of these comments is just insane " or "yes happily married but just looking for an affair as they are not getting enough sex at home or their partner does not satisfy them in the bedroom "

Some profiles share several photos of selfie photos and evil family photos of close family relatives and close friends and others don't and other profiles shared fake photos of other people to distract from their true identity online.
Some other profiles are real with or without photos but will change their geo-location i.e. say someone lives in London but will claim they live in Cambridge to distract other known individuals , and the fake geo-location could well be the location they visit for personal or business reasons regularly - ideal for a hook up with a secret lover or lovers etc .

A known fact is that - that most of the above groups of people created multiple profiles across various multiple websites to have multiple lovers, sexual encounters and multiple affairs unknown to their married spouse or single partner "boyfriend or girlfriend " etc

If you are a married/or single partner? have you ever randomly registered on any of the top ranked dating websites, casual or hook-up etc websites to research whether your spouse or partner is registered on such websites?

• Do you check your married spouse or partner's mobile phone? or review any cookies logged on a digital device such as a computer, laptop or tablet any computer to see what websites they visit?
• Do you check debit cards , credit cards - bank statements - receipts ?for obvious usual shopping purchases online and offline.
• Are you aware if they have one of two burner phones unknown to you or are you aware of changes in their appearance or movements etc
• These are all questions worth thinking about and researching to find out what goes on for those who are unaware of what their married spouse or single partner get up to and you are not aware of your spouse's infidelity/affair with multiple lovers, or you are unaware that your single partner boyfriend or girlfriend is cheating on you and have been cheating on you with multiple lovers for short or long periods of times, even years - most never delete their multiple online profiles.

What amazes me is how easily men and women in situations like get away with illicit encounters ongoing and their married spouse or single partner boyfriend or girlfriend are not aware of their deceitful illicit sexual encounters with multiple lovers. At the same time risking their health, the health of their married spouse or single partner boyfriend or girlfriend they are in a relationship with and those of their multiple casual lovers?

Everyone has a mobile phone which is the No..1 digital device tool for accessing the internet or downloading online apps - it takes a few seconds, and most people have access to home computers, laptops and tablet handsets as well.

1. Let's all get to work by discussing and debating the content this posting highlights: about infidelity and cheating.

Depends on your relationship. I've been married for 15 years, never had a minute's concern about what DH is doing. Everything he says he is doing, he does. Everywhere he says he is going, he goes there. The idea of checking his phone or his bank details wouldn't enter my head.

My ex on the other hand, well he was cut from different cloth. We were married before there were any online "adventures" available to people who wanted to cheat. If there had been things like that he would have been doing it. Repeatedly.

Some people are made that way, some are not.

Let's not

Yes .. l agree there are very loyal married couples - with old school traditional morals and single dating partners as we.. But , come on now - we are not all naïve here - there are countless websites encouraging and promoting infidelity and to cheat on their partners putting profit before any kind of relationships and encouraging other married couples and single dating partners to create multiple profiles and register on such website with such delightful alternative sexual illicit encounters. And until such time, certain "casual nsa encounters turns sour grapes for who ever is involved in a threesome or multiple pyramid illicit encounters where multiple partners are involved and they dont know about each other or break-up happen and obsessive behaviours- revenge kicks in .Now this becomes very nasty and messy outcome indeed This is not a taboo subject matter it is real life

I don't really understand what you want to discuss. It's pretty common knowledge these websites exist and of course there just trying to generate profit, that's the point of most companies.

Infidelity has always been a thing, it's just come into the digital age.
Do I check my partners phone for cookies? No, I trust him and if he went through my phone I would consider that a breach of trust.

It's not a taboo subject but you haven't actually stated what you want discussed.
For what it's worth I dislike these types of websites but they wouldn't exist if they didn't have the clients so blame the people who are cheating on their partners / spouses. They are the ones who have broken trust regardless of where they have the affair.

This isn't news, these websites have been around for ages and are not a new thing. The way you've worded it makes you sound like a journalist doing some lazy research.

Have had exh do this, found out when they didn't clear the cookies/history on shared tablet (which I was aware they were doing previously but thought it was for porn) and when I started typing for different web address site came up...knowing they must have visited it I asked and they fobbed me off but then other aspects of behaviour alerted me and I found them on all manner of sites, which they had been doing for all length of our (long) relationship. Quickly ditched once realised the extent of the lies and lack of respect, whole family shocked and destroyed (except exh who is now leading their dream life, part time parent, financially better off and zero accountability)

To: Todaylamcalled
My post is in two parts - part 1 and part 2 due to wordcount restriction. You are reading my post which is split into two parts: part 1 of part 2 .. read part 2 which l have posted online on this platform as well. l am not a journalist - my post is free style writing .. l am writing about a subject matter that is on interest to me and l want to share content with others online here as well and t read about other people's opinion/comments - view points. So if you claim that l am a journalist conducting some kind of lazy research that is your opinion (far from it ) . l happen to attend a dinner party few weeks ago and this was a heated topic - debate at the dinner party - dinner table - topic shared by 18 guests . And yes it is a free world - free speech on both sides of the fence online and offline. Te internet has ripped out the soul of the traditional values in reference to relationships - marriage, dating and casual relationships and about soliciting for sex in general impacting our lifestyle values and moral compass on all aspects of what is right or wrong? The the internet and virtual porn - casual nsa and hook up websites are all partly to blame for those affected by companies who profit by encouraging and promoting infidelity and cheating antics online and offline etc targeting a specific demographics in our society. Nothing new in discussing this topic at all . Your comments are on point here and valid also . p.s. Review part 2 of 2 shared content as well. Thank you for sharing . Enjoy the rest of your week and thank you for your contribution to my current post.

This is a really fascinating research area OP. I'd be interested to read about it. It always amazes me how people get away with cheating for so long.

I wonder if we are currently seeing a race to the bottom what with the changing attitude to women, the FWB phenomenon, the 'choking' going mainstream, etc. Let's hope much more research is carried out.
I think the bottom line message about the online services though is that 'sex sells'!

Thinking about your point about it being big business, I guess you could say the internet has caused the commodification of sexual relationships. Yes, there has always been the oldest profession, but traditionally monogamous relationships now seem to be being targeted. The walls of marriage are being weakened from outside sources such as the owners of the websites (IE, AW and the like) which you mention, OP.

It's all a fucking mess.
It's not just extreme, readily available porn and hook up sites, it's the get rich quick if you sell your body online, the plastic look, the fucking incel shit.

Watch enough of it and you start to feel entitled to be the top Barbie doll or top cock.

People think they deserve extreme sex, to not have to pay for anything they do like produce kids, deserve "respect" for just existing.

As for our household porn and incels are firmly in the fuck this shit department.

The internet can be a powerful tool, but now every dumb fuck has it in their pocket this is what has happened, used as a sell sex to some, buy this clothing to others.

But hey up to each individual how you waste your life or develop as a human being.

I agree with you @frozendaisy but you feel passionately about it, others will feel the same as you. Surely there's a French Revolution to be had somewhere in all this and not just give up?

People want to cheat, and will use any way to do this.

Websites etc are catering to an existing demand. Men only pay.

And they work, I met someone on a site and had a long running affair. But I would have found another way. Affairs aren't a new thing.

Most of the men and women who create multiple profiles and are charge t o use various websites - are very happy to use their debit card or credit card to pay eye watering monthly cost of between £25 - £40 a month. And then act as if they are entitled to have sex on demand "after sharing a few line of email content messages " - the next request if "when are you available to meet up " - Just like that on demand - they act as if the are ordering pizza or an uber taxi service (used as a metaphor here) using their mobile phone app to act out - sex on demand encounters . Some sex crazed men and women even double date back to back - so they have set up 2 hook up meetings in one day or within a few hours back to back - it is insane ? And some repeat the same antics the very next day or few days later - ongoing - There is no loyalty at all what so ever not even with their existing married spouse or existing partner. And there is no loyalty with any of the one or multiple lovers they are currently sleeping with either - it is simple lust based on selfishness . what is wrong with these people ? they have no shame what so ever ?and they are out of touch with their own reality also.

@cakes1 hope you are going to apologise to me coz it wasn't me that called you a lazy journalist

To: Todaylamcalled - no worries it was "hamdden12" that's fine what ever name
calling- invisible trolling "its the culture of internet messaging - misuse of
communication tool + platform. We all dont know each other " l never get
upset ever at all " - my key point to "hamdden12" - l am not a journalist -
it took me ages to compose this post - as it was "free style writing" - the
content was not planned at all, but " KNOWLEDGE IS POWER + DATA IS
KING " I am just sharing both key words and to find out what other think
about this subject matter . lt may help someone or others along the way ?
Thanks for sharing - happy days ahead with the start to summer x

So I met my current boyfriend of 3 years. not long after I had split up with my narcissistic ex of 13 years.

It was probably the first time I have been truly happy in years probably since I was
a teenager im now 31. That's why I'm so disappointed.

Anyway about a year in I discover that he had been cheating on me with escorts. I knew something was off as he has never really been interested in sex with me as such which I though was strange being a new relationship. And that when I see him on a Saturday he always seems more interested in drinking than having sex with me.I knew he had seen some before he met me. I discovered this by doing a simple Google search as he used the same username name he had used for a pof account. Anyway I found an account on an escort site which the escorts and clients leave reviews for each other and had seen that he cheated on me within the first 3 months of the relationship. He denied this at first and admitted it eventually. Probably about a month later i noticed he didnt delete his account and just changed the username and saw that he had webcamed an escort. Confronted him again and he told me he just has an addiction to porn. A few months
after that he suggested we tried swinging. I told him I wasn't interested in doing that, so he dropped it.
I found out he had done it again but claimed this was just a massage and nothing else happened I found out it was a massage with a happy ending confronted him and he admitted. Suggested to him
that I thought he might have a problem but he shrugged this off and said he found it hard to break the routine. I've broke up with him several times over this as it's absolutely devastating and he knew I was devastated and said he won't do it again. He even suggested that I became an escourt.

Anyway a couple if months ago we went on holiday and he was showing me something on his phone when an escort sent him a message saying im not free until Saturday or whatever he claimed that he had message her ages ago. So after the holiday I broke up with him. Be said he was going to get help. Eventually got back together with him. I moaned at him for not even looking to get help after being back from holiday for 2 weeks then he decided to look things up and took a test online which suggested he had an addiction to sex but still didn't contact anyone. We
recently went to a music festival together he left his phone unattended so I snooped and saw loads of naked photos of escorts that
he has seen , some new and some a few years old. But he also has a a couple of just normal face pictures. I confronted him about it and asked why he keeps them if he felt that guilty about cheating on me why would he want reminding of that time. He replied I guess there trophies" I asked him why he had face photos of a certain one as I thought it might have been his ex girlfriend as they had the same name. I was like is that your ex
he said " phw I'd never be able to pull someone like that she's good looking". I'm so angry and hurt I just can't cope he wants me to support him but does nothing to help himself. And to top it all off he told me a few days ago that when he masterbates he wears escorts bra and knickers which he had bought of them. He said he was a teenager when he felt like he should have been a women because of all the attention they get. He says he loves me and doesn't want to lose me. I just think he's been taking me for a mug this whole time.
All our relationship has been is him and other women he literally makes no effort for Me.
We live 45 minutes away from him I see him twice a week it was once until I moaned, he never makes the effort to come down my way but can travel all over for these escorts.
He puts me through hell and then has the audacity to ask me for help. Anyone going through anything similar to give me some advice?

Has anyone had experience of illicit encounters? I have - I felt invisible and taken for granted at home. I considered an affair closer to home/but decided I needed to find a discrete lover closer. I found one and I was able to satisfy the varying levels of intimacy that there was never any prospect of getting from my distant husband. At least this way I am completely fulfilled/my home life is more stable and I feel alive after years of being a slave - but I also had knowledge of others who had had successful liaisons/and an affair has to be thought through in order to avoid hurting family members - my husband is oblivious to my secret life - it may end one day but for over seven years it has kept me sane and grounded - but it’s not for everyone and many are far too morally judgmental - recently on Twitter I discovered - illicitFuninfo - which has some good advice for those seeking an affair but minded to keep it secret and avoid making mistakes that would undoubtedly cause pain and upset - simply it is possible to have your cake and eat it!!!
I read the intro to this overall question - but whilst one can understand the sense of outrage by some - there are very good reasons why affairs happen - before online dating - there were always affairs and usually starting at work - one lady I know of/went to work as a secretary for a firm of solicitors as a temp/was offered a job there within two weeks/then started an affair with her boss after five weeks/which last for twenty six years (sexually for sixteen years) but for good reason/her husband could be mentally cruel towards her and she needed a sanity escape/making her stronger to cope with abusive behaviour/whilst continuing to protect and support her children at home - this all happened in the 1970’s/ THIS RECENT ARTICLE in the Independent gives a more up to date reason why modern men and women have secret affairs: the dating sites, like illicit encounters merely make it easier and safer for those who already are seeking romance and fun but without the long term hassles and baggage of marital boredom www.independent.co.uk/voices/extra-marital-affairs-website-love-sex-divorce-b2115288.html

One in Eight men, aged twenty (20) to seventy four (74) regular use the services of an escort. There are thirty four (34) million men in the UK 🇬🇧 therefore (1 in 8) becomes four point two five million (4.25Million) men use escorts.

It is estimated that there are one hundred and eight thousand escorts (prostitutes) mainly women - thus there’s one escort for every forty (40)men

it is on a scale of sex addiction - also throw in men and women seeking affairs - you begin to see why there’s a problem - perhaps couples need to understand each other’s needs and allow them satisfaction to avoid straying!!

Hello. Generalising about adultery is easy for anyone who doesn't understand why these things happen. Let's accept your argument, people who are married and sleep around are selfish - similarly you could argue, people who smoke or drink and drive are equally selfish. Except the 1% of successful adulterers who have their intimate needs, but for an overbearing partner who treats you like a dog or deprives you of affection - there are children in the relationship - so an opportunity to be me - how I used to be before I pushed out three babies and sacrificed my career and my partner (husband) just sits their night after night, gobbling down his food, burping and breaking wind and has sacrificed nothing and treats me as if I am invisible - so there are the grounds for an affair - think it selfish if you like - I don't care what you think on your generalising moral high ground - My lover has put a smile on my face, a spring in my step, no divorce; my husband has no idea ... he's in a world of his own ... my lover is true to me and both of us cope and are stronger to put up with our respective home lives for the sake of our children - our affair is conducted away from where we live - I'm not going to say any more than that - yes there probably are bed hopping cheaters but we're in the 1% of adulterers who are strong enough to know what we want to keep what we both have independently. Others who cheat and are careless - well that there own stupid fault - illicit encounters is by far the best there others - recently I have read post by illicitfuninfo on twitter and their advice seems good - never wear perfume on a first meet date - the smells transfer onto clothes and other men's wives are as good as I am at detecting unusual and expensive smells!!

Just an idea - why don't you get some of your girlfriends (perhaps on a night out) to plan a photo shoot for yourself - a clothes on shot/an underwear shot (standing) an underwear shot lying on a bed (but not at home) a couple of guarded naked shots/ hand obscuring the relevant bits/ register on illicit encounters (its free for women) and password protect the photos so they can only be seen by those who have your password - change the password after every share and never the same password - have a guarded photo of your face/hair obscuring facial features for the profile page visible to all - also hide your face in all the photos/by turning your head away or if you have long hair, have it pulled over your face/but in such a way that he would likely recognise it was you or his particular type of woman he looks for. Consider allowing your friends dual login so that someone can always be on the look out - YES other men will contact you - but you're lying in wait - lets say you find a way to get a message to him on his phone and he logs in - have some questions ready to ask - perhaps ask the questions you need answers to - are you married or in a relationship? Are you single? see how he answers - if he tells fibs ... there's your answer - dump him and move on!! Or with the help of your friends, find a man who isn't a serial cheater (bearing in mind that you have to be careful these days, particularly if you have children, there are men trying to find single women with children for reasons that readers here might find shocking - just tread cautiously)

One other alert - if your partner is meeting escorts who charge less than a hundred and thirty pounds an hour, chances are they are not with a reputable agency and are not regularly health checked - you might have to consider a visit to an STi clinic to ensure he hasn't infected you - in some of the sex clubs in Europe, in places like Berlin, health scrutiny is a high priority - young women there can earn over two thousand euros a day! imagine in the UK, an escort who sleeps with ten men a day (one an hour) thats £1300 a day for a respectable escort (ha) but £50 quickies with Lord knows who, carry a much higher risk of an STi - get yourself checked out if you're continuing to sleep with him.

Try the photography shoot idea, you might find it a lot of fun, find lots of men falling at your feet, you don't have to meet anyone, but maybe it will help you to realise whats happening and move on! Look to your girlfriends for help.

@Ineedhelp91 last message for you

@Cath57 an interesting article in one of the tabloids today - the concept of family is no longer relevant as most are now single parent - so a man may think he's meeting a married woman for a secret relationship but she might be single looking for a pay day for her and her abandoned kids -

@Ineedhelp91 what was the outcome of your situation?