"Half a mother and half a career woman"

[Greenginghamdress]

My partner described me as this at the weekend. We weren't particularly arguing at the time.
He said I hadn't put my heart into doing either.
I have 1 DD (4) and work part time. I completed my masters at work after maternity leave and the job is reasonably secure and not too stressful. However I travel 30 miles each way for it which is getting to be a stretch. Its lab work and I can't wfh apart from very odd occasions.
I've thought about retraining but I don't want to commit to full time work as I love being with DD too and going for days out together.
For context, I would now have another child but partner says its too much of a gap.
So as not to drip feed, I fell pregnant unexpectedly when she was just over 1 and we agreed to end the pregnancy. We both struggled with being parents and my mental health was horrendous for a couple of yetes afterwards. Partner is resentful of this decision now.
I do most of life admin, all housework really.
Not sure what I'm asking. Was this a fair comment?

He sounds like half a man to me. If that.

Maybe explain that you are balancing the financial needs of the partnership, with the parental responsibility of DD, and the responsibility of running a household.

I am going to hazard a guess here that he is not helping much around the home & with child care? Maybe he would like to step up and take on more housework \ childcare?

Really mean comment & suspect there is something deeper going on.

What percentage dad is he? If he works full time, following his mathematical logic, he must be 0%

He's talking rubbish ofcourse. You don't stop being a mum because you have a career (and if you did, that makes him only a small % a dad as PP have said).
He just sounds unkind and unpleasant. Do you really want to be with him? Does he make you feel supported, respected, appreciated, loved??

what a bastard! I’m so sorry you’re married to such prick OP. I’d tell him he’s less than half a husband for making such comment.

Well done for finishing your master OP!

I’m trying to imagine how I would have responded if my DH had said I was half a mother.

He sounds awful. Punishing you for a decision taken with your best interests at the time. 4 years isn't a big gap at all. Wouldn't have a baby with him anyway

Is he half a dad and half a career man?

What a nasty man.

You do all the housework&life admin?;bet you'd still expected to do that if you worked full time and take care of your DD whilst not in work and he'd not take on 50% of the housework,childcare etc.

As for the termination and then saying that ship has now sailed;it sounds as though he doesn't want another child with you.

With that logic, every man who has children and works is only half or maybe quarter father.
All mothers are full time mothers or full time mothers with a career or a job. Just as men who work or not are whole fathers.