NC for this one. My mum died suddenly last year. She was the main carer for my dad (79) who has multiple disabilities and although her sudden passing (heart attack) was a massive shock, I had to quickly pull myself together to sort things out for my dad.
Living with me/moving wasn't an option for him (he's very settled and doesn't want to leave) so I got SS involved and we now have a good care package in place, along with lots of family/friend/community support. My dad is very lucky indeed to have so many people who love him, when so many others don't have that!
Six months after mum died, dad kinda fixated on a family friend who is widowed and eventually asked her out. I advised him not to as I genuinely didn't think it was a two way attraction. She said no and he was crushed. I could be wrong but I think she looked at all his disability issues/care needs and as a healthier, fitter version of him couldn't see herself in a situation where that would work.
8 months after that dad got a new 'friend' and I could see the same pattern emerging but I wasn't 100% sure. This time, she seemed to be reciprocating his advances and though it felt a bit weird, my overall view is that I want my dad to be happy. If this is what it takes, great! But then once again, he asked her out, she said she didn't feel the same way and poor dad is crushed and sad.
Realistically, dad is 79, uses a walker, has multiple health issues and very limited mobility. Like everyone he deserves a shot at love again but seems to be attracted to women of his age who are fitter & healthier and who almost inevitably want a partner who can go out for meals, walks etc.
Dad is so sad and keeps telling me he doesn't want to spend whatever time he has left, on his own. We try our best to fill his days with family and other activities but ultimately after 50+ years with my mum, he doesn't want to be alone and yet keeps picking women who don't want him. In his head he's about 40 years old, it's just that his body thinks differently.
Wish I knew how to help him!