What was the final straw?

[broccolicheese]

What was the final straw for you to leave your marriage? What pushed you over the edge from just thinking about it to doing it?

I think I want to leave mine and I get close but I just can’t seem to get the words out. When he’s at work I’m so preoccupied with wanting to leave, but when I’m with him again I’m under his spell. My brain wants to leave but my heart doesn’t.

He’s very controlling but as long as I’m doing what he wants (which I know is unreasonable and I can’t continue doing) then it feels like a happy marriage.

Calling our DS a retard for knocking a drink over whilst he was in a bad mood because of some sport thing not going his way. Also getting irate & accusing him of purposely coughing to be annoying at night when DS had a cold (multiple, multiple times).

Calling me a fat cunt (common occurrence) for daring to question his methods regarding painting a fence.

It should have been the time he slapped me across the back during a disagreement about the kfc menu. And then saying "are you going to keep dragging that up all the time now" or the various times he threw food/drinks in my face during arguments. Or various times he's just ghosted me in foreign countries. Or belittled me that much in queues because he's so impatient that people look excruciatingly embarrassed for me.

Thinking me of being unreasonable for always "questioning him" and the fact I couldn't just agree with his opinions just to pacify him (yes he admitted that's why).

Wow sorry... that kinda came flooding out!

Good luck OP. x

I really, really hope you're not the OP I think you are...

I'm bumping this for you, OP.

When I found myself crying in the bathroom after sex with him because I felt so used.

Whats keeping you with him?

He threw things at you? He doesn't love you.*

When I found myself telling the DC to be quiet as their DF had just pulled up in the car. No way to live.

We had exactly same thread yesterday

One day the realisation that I was done. I stopped listening to him at that point, made plans that involved myself only and cracked on.

I was afraid he would get ill and expect me to look after him. I realised how much I detested him at that point.

2019/20 New Years Eve, I made a comment about him needing to listen to the music all the time (he was walking around holding a speaker), it was just a joke but he got so uspset he stopped talking to me and we spent the whole night (we were celebrating home alone), not talking at all. We even managed to kiss at midnight without saying much at all. Silent treatment was his favorite "discipline" tool for me btw. I sat there watching TV and boiling inside, feeling literally sick to my stomach. That year I was turning 50 and that night I promissed myself that this was the last New Years Eve I was spending with him. Unfortunatly then Covid hit and I had to postpone it, but by the end of 2021 he was out. Also, my therapist at the time asked me if I could imagine myself spending the next twenty five years with this man and my answer was very clear, no way!

Not a husband but a previous DP. The constant alcohol binges, when I would threaten to leave he would threaten to do the worst to himself. And the fact he wet the bed constantly and we went through 2 mattresses. That was just some minor things believe it or not. I just remember walking around Costco and thought, I'm only 27 and this is my life. Looking after an alcoholic man child with stalker tendencies. Told him to leave that night and never looked back. Now happily in a relationship with an amazing man and we've just had a baby. Took me a lot of therapy and self discover to get here though.

Thank you for sharing with me, I’m sorry some of the stuff is so horrible :(

I nearly left today, I was talking myself into it and had a speech ready and then he got home and I just… forgot it all.

Are you the OP with the Sunday ritual? I'm trying to be vague.

If so, please please leave.