Don't know where to turn

[shas19]

Been with dp for 6 years. 3 children, rent a property but tenancy is mine. He's always been hot headed, speaks before he thinks but lately I just can't stand it. It enrages me, he enrages me. Youngest child is 5months so I'm at home and do the lions share of everything here, he works full time so no problem as such BUT, I suffer with pnd and have had 0 support from him. Not anything. He will come home from work go for a run or work out, have a 30min bath..basically do whatever he needs to do never mind anything else but in his head he has no time for himself. I'm currently going through cancer investigations and he's shown no emotional support or interest but funny enough doing a 10k run for cancer research..yesterday was a shit show as he was tired and miserable which ended in him screaming and shouting at me then once he's calmed down giving me a half hearted apology like always. Today we haven't spoke as he showed off about having to possibly use another room in the house to work out in as we're cat sitting and she's hid herself away in there and just now pushed a window open too far so I asked him to close it in abit and he's chose to sleep downstairs thats after throwing a tantrum first. I just have nothing left to say anymore there's no point. He's not done one single night feed, can't remember the last time he bought her an item of clothing or food. He does buy other bits for the other two but not the point, I feel like I've had this baby on my own almost. I'm rambling at this point but need to get this off my chest, sorry. Everyday I wish he would just tell me he's leaving, I feel like I'm walking on eggshells 24/7. Whens he's not here the house is much calmer, the older two are 4 and 7 and I notice their behaviour is much better. He's pretty much a Disney dad, wants to do that fun stuff and look good but in reality is the opposite. I don't even want to have sex anymore with him, I have to have had a drink and feel tipsy to feel like i want to. I haven't had a sex drive for ages tbh. Around 10 days after ny daughter was born via emc he was going on about 'his needs', I feel so angry with myself for letting this happen to me. He's ground me down for years and I feel like a shell of the person I was. I honestly wouldn't be here i8f it wasn't for the thought of leaving my kids behind alone with him. At the same time I love this man, but why? It's a fucking mess

Can you speak to a councillor, doctor or friend? You just need to get some strength to leave. You'll be so much better of, you CAN do it! Life WILL get better

I've only just started speaking to my mum after nearly 4 years because of him and ge hates it. Won't speak to me if he knows I'm seeing or seen her. I feel so embarrassed and weak and feel awful for my kids. Yesterday he slammed the front door so i shouted out stop slamming the door, he opened it again launched the keys just over my head and verbally abused me

Even now he's slamming doors and being loud because I asked him to shut the window in because of HIS sisters cat possibly climing out.

Don't worry. It will get better. Can you speak to a womens organisation that can help you figure it all out? Would you feel confident to ask him to leave? I'm 23 and feel like I've been through the same as you, PM me if you need

He sounds like a bully, the sooner he is gone a weight will be lifted from you, it will happen I promise

Kick. Him. Out. It's legally your home, not him. As soon as he's gone your life will improve, you already know this. Stop delaying the inevitable.

He is a bully. I know exactly what he is and what he's not but yet I still can't leave

You can leave, you just need support. Can a friend stay with you when you ask him to go?

When he shouts and slams thing I feel like a little child, my dad used to do this and it takes me right back

Of course you don't leave. He leaves. All you have to do is tell him to get the fuck out. Do it for your kids.

I wouldn't even know what to start when asking him to go

You're with an abusive arsehole.

Don't stress about it tonight.

But think about how much calmer your life will be without him shouting, slamming windows and doors and demanding sex 10 days after you've given birth.

PS: Hope you have reassuring news about your cancer scare. You don't have to live with this lady, selfish, pig, you know.

PPS: Get your finances in order and tell him to get the F out. x

'lazy' not 'lady'!

And this is how your children will feel as adults unless you put an end to the cycle of abuse. Don't allow your children to grow up as you did.

It's not up to you to worry where he goes. He's a grown man. And he's bullying you.

Be brave and start to plan life without him.

The trauma of an emcs and now this. You must be exhausted mentally and physically.

Please seek help.

"Get out of my house."

That's what it takes. If he kicks off, you call the police and they will make him leave.

I am so tired, not even from having a new baby just tired from him and feeling desperate all the time. His whole world revolves around him. Today I didn't cook him dinner or do any of his work clothes washing so I guarantee tomorrow I'll get woken up to him kicking off about the clothes. I feel so weak and pathetic

@dane8 I worded that wrong in obviously wouldn't leave my house he would. I meant leave the relationship. I honestly don't think that's the case. He's done this so many times. It's like a routine. He acts like this. We sweep it under the carpet. I can't keep doing it

In his head he thinks he does loads for me and around the house. He doesn't. He does nothing

3 DC's in a 6 years is a lot to deal with - your decision or his? Could he have tied you down with DC's so you wouldn't leave him regardless of his abuse? It can still be done, are you on mat leave? Do you work. As not married there are no assets to claim, but he does have to cough up with CMS payments.
Start working out your finances for going it alone and make sure you have cast iron contraception as sex after drinking could lead to loads more trouble.

Do you have family or friends you could talk to about this?

He really does need to leave.

I have a son from a previous relationship who he has raised since he was 2 sorry should of made that clearer. I have the implant so no more kids.

Please stop sweeping it under the carpet.

Ask your family and friends for help and get him gone. He's useless, selfish and mean.