Tell me about your happy FWB arrangements

[IsntItIronicDontchaThink]

In an uncharacteristically bold move, and after loads of really disappointing experiences with OLD, I posted on Fab seeking a FWB.

After a lot of sifting through dross and moving some to offsite messaging I've started meeting up with a few to see if we connect.

Now that it's getting close to reality, I want to start thinking about what needs to be in place for a FWB thing to be genuinely positive.

Tell me your inspiring stories about how it works for you, please?

(And I know it's resulted in marriages for some but that's genuinely not what I want)

It started off as a bit of fun for me. I enjoyed genuinely hanging out with them. Then don't even know what happened to me. I got jealous when he sent me a message meant for another person. I didn't expect anything as we had just having fun. So many good moments and lost him.
I did fall for him and I didn't expect to feel that way. It's quite painful thinking of it.
He did care about me but only as a friend.
I remember telling him how I felt he was upset with me then kind of moved forward think he thought I got over the feelings. I remember sitting in his house and he was telling me he met his girlfriend. I was genuinely happy for him but was like a knife to the heart.
I think you need to really take your heart of this situations..even if you do think your own feelings shock you or even theres.

Interesting observation and now, a few weeks on from my OP, I am starting to see why this is potentially a good approach.

Still early days but currently there are two prospective FWBs on the go, although I've only met them a couple of times. One of them places a real emphasis on the social connection side as part of a meeting - before and after sex. The other initially paid lip service to the social connection part but there are signs he's more of a 'Dial-A-Shag' operator.

If I was fully focusing on one or the other only, either of these approaches would definitely be playing with my headspace. However it feels a bit easier to balance, and enjoy different kinds of encounter, with both.

There's the possibility of one or two more connections (chatting, but yet to meet them) but I will definitely be considering the need to keep a balance on my headspace as part of any decision going forward. (And that also includes rethinking the potential of continuing with either of the first two).

At the moment I feel sexually liberated and in control, and also agree with earlier comments about boosting body confidence. I'm alert to preserving my sense of self-worth and the 'numbers' issue is definitely part of that consideration.

I'd like to think about how I might more formally agree 'terms of engagement' and not quite confident yet to set those out, but hopefully will get there soon.

Once you've been on the merry-go-round of Fabswingers and experienced FWB etc it does get boring and tedious, even though the sex might be exciting etc. After a while you realise that actually it would be nice for someone to genuinely care about you AND want to hwve sex with you.
The issue is OLD is a cesspit most of the time, FWB or fuck buddies disappear/it fizzles out/someone catches feelings, it's difficult to know what to move on to once you've 'been there, done that' (that's the stage I'm at!)

I see it as routine fanny maintenance these days. It's sad when we become such jaded libertines 😂
Oh for the joys of the five minute morning shag while half asleep

I had a really good FWB experience. Lasted 6 years. It worked for me as I don't want a relationship. It was a lot of fun, sex, nice food and company one day a week. He was a lot younger than me so that kept things realistic for me in terms of not crossing boundaries. I can't say I didn't have feelings because I did but we were both very clear on how it was going to be so I'd sometimes step back for a few weeks to rebalance myself. It ended when he met somebody and told me immediately. I was sad for me but happy for him. Hoping another one comes along one day!

I had one. I'd say he was more of a bootycall because we only hooked up when my son was away at his dads. From the beginning I said I didn't want a relationship as I was at uni but I needed someone to knock my socks off without getting attached. 🤣
It was great for a while but uni and my personal life was getting on top of me and I ended it. He was so helpful though when I told him I didn't want to see him anymore.
We lost touch but I just saw last week on insta that he is having a baby and is engaged. I reached out and said congrats and good luck.
It can work if boundaries are made clear and you are safe when having sex

I do find that once your hormones wane down (perimenopausal) you start to lose interest in sex which is good so you can focus on other things in life! I spent far too much time focused on it even though it was good and fun but ultimately pointless.

In my late 30s I found myself to be raging with hormones and had a FWB arrangement, but now that everything has calmed down I feel what a waste of time it all was😂 it was just sex at the the end of the day...my perception on it has completely changed.

🙋‍♀️ I'm in my 50s. The end of a marriage that was pretty much sexless for years, combined with a positive HRT experience, are doing all the right things for my libido at the moment! I might just be making up for lost time 😁