How to go NC with parents even though you love one of them?

[JamesBlond]

I have a very toxic father, with whom I have a broken relationship to say the least, and a mother who I love but has never had the backbone to deal with his behaviour and she still lives with him and has got warped over the years because of the bullshit from him.
I have some sympathy for my mother but not a lot and it’s evaporating fast. They are in their late sixties. I am mid thirties and getting so sick and tired of being pulled into their drama when I need to live my own life.
They are constantly arguing and basically hate each other. They also like to pretend some days that they are normal and like each other which I find bizarre.
I want to not have to deal with them but I feel guilty because it’s really only one of them that I want to go NC with.

Has anyone navigated this? Did you do it? Did you have to compromise? Or did you just carry on being miserable?

I could have written this about my parents!! I don't see them often and that's my saving grace. I talk to them every couple of weeks - polite chit chat etc. I have kids and they are nice grandparents. I make out I'm incredibly busy so they don't bother me anymore with their issues which is great. Maybe you could do that? Slowly decrease number of times you call etc....

@Butterfly44 thanks for the reply, I was a bit vague for privacy reasons but you obviously get what I mean.
One of my siblings has done what you’ve done, although I don’t think they consciously planned it, they have just ended up distancing themselves using children as an excuse sort of thing.
I am planning to move away to another area and am hoping this will do the trick.
Do you struggle with guilt? I hope you don’t mind me asking, but it’s my stumbling block.

@JamesBlond no I don't struggle with guilt. He was a rubbish father and the memories will never go. I feel sorry for my mother but she chose to stay, to put with what he was like. If my husband was like that I'd be long gone and never subject my kids to experiencing that
Move. Live your life :)