Huge argument with partner because I have a male friend

[PinkBump2022]

I have a son from previous relationship who has a range of disabilities. Me and partner have son together and I’m 25 weeks with baby girl. The school my son attends I have became friends with a dad who has a child with who has the same disability as my son. We chat about that and we get along well because of that. My partner was his friend on FB but then we went for a night out a charity night to raise money for the disability fund and this dad was also there with his son and came over to me from behind and touched me on my shoulder to get my attention. My paneer then flipped said we are going home. This was a month ago. We got home wel almsot home and he went crazy saying this man is a pervert and he doesn’t Want me talking to him. He said he seen him talking to his friend about some girl walking past in a short skirt saying look at her legs or something. I said that’s nothing to do with me and he’s never been Pervy with me it’s all about our children!!! He then added me on Facebook and my partner removed him from his account. I did not tell my DP he added me as you can imagine he would be upset all over again. I accepted as why shouldn’t I. He’s done nothing wrong to me. So two days ago I uploaded pics of my son at the zoo and this dad liked the pics and my partner flipped his lid again. Asking why am I even friends with him! I said well because we get along, we have a child with the same disability which is so rare! So he said unless I delete him then he’s leaving him. Told him to crack on!! He’s still here …… he said if I don’t delete him the. There must ve something going on like a huge affair and I must sit and text him all the time. Said Iv never actually spoken to him outside of the school yard!!
an I just being all hormonal??
is jt DP Controlling and this about to turn into DV?

Think this would be better on the Relationships board, OP!

@Regenbogen22 how do I move it? I thought maybe my hormones were flying all over

Your so called DP is a controlling jealous insecure arsehole, and I'll bet this isn't the first time OP.

Do not give in to this ridiculous behaviour.

Your partner is an idiot. Why is he flying into a rage over something that is obviously innocent?

I had an ex like that once. Even if a man walked past me in the the street he would accuse me of sleeping with him - the fucking moron. I doubt things will change OP

Your partner sounds like a total nutter op. Absolutely controlling behaviour from him. So sorry that this is happening to you at such a vulnerable time. But abusers often ramp up abuse when you are pregnant.

Also, just a side note as tbh it's completely irrelevant as his shitty attitude is the worst thing tbf, but often people accuse their partners of cheating when they themselves are cheating and so it makes them paranoid that you are as shitty as they are.

what a nutjob

I have even thought maybe he cheated and this friend knows which is an excuse he doesn’t want us to speak. I don’t know I really don’t. But nothing is going on between me and this dad but DP is obsessed there is and I’m being sly and sneaky by not telling him we are FB friends and then he thinks I have his number and have met him for what ever when I absolutely haven’t I haven’t even got the energy whihc he knows but even if I did he knows I’m devoted to him! I don’t know why he’s being like this.

so do I remove this dad friend to keep it happy and peaceful for the sake of my toddler and unborn child??
or say hell no and see what happens??

Dump your jealous dp for the sake of your future happiness

My ex was like this. I have a good male friend that I talk to a few days a week. Just general chit chat. He's just like my good women friends, I don't see him any differently. But my ex only had a problem with me talking to him because he's a man. Caused many arguments between us. He wanted me to stop talking to him because he was male. I can't be with a jealous and controlling man.

Sorry OP but your DP is jealous and controlling. Please don't lose your friend. If you do as DP says, then he will go on to dictate and control your actions in other scenarios that make him feel insecure.

My ex wife was like this for 20 years, I can honestly say it doesn't change. She's been married to another bloke for 7 years and still the same my daughter said. It's crap you shouldn't have to be looking over your shoulder all the time.

OP it will only keep the peace FOR NOW.

Do not start down this road.. it never ends.

Nip this in the bud now.

Your DP is being utterly ridiculous.

Do not give him the power to dictate who you talk to FGS.

I wouldn't delete the dad. It's a lifeline to talk about something that someone else understands and lives with. Your DP doesn't understand that, and I don't think ever can. I'd stick to my guns. It's your son, not his.
Also his behaviour is worryingly controlling and doesn't look good for future! He doesn't seem reasonable or understanding at all...

Neither option.

You tell him to leave.

Fuck letting him decide as if he is the injured party. He is behaving like a dick, he doesn't get to choose whether or not to stay and continue to do so.

We got home wel almsot home and he went crazy saying this man is a pervert and he doesn’t Want me talking to him.

This is pathetic of your dp. If he has concerns discuss the rationally - throwing the toys out of the pram and behaving with the emotional intelligence of a 5 year old does not mean you do what he says. If you give into this he will continue this behaviour with something else. You are entitled to speak to another man - if he cannot handle that it is his problem.