Does anyone else have a husband who never ever ever listens, accepts or believes a single blasted word they say?

[Hecate]

ARRRGGGGHHH!

Ok, dh is lovely in many many ways. I love him to bits.

BUT.

He never accepts anything I say.

Today's examples

1
His coat is dirty. He said he was going to put it in the wash. I said, "Your coat can't be washed. The label says it can only be sponged down." (it's a treated, funny, waterproof thingie and the instructions on it are VERY clear. It cannot be machine washed or hand washed)

So he said that it was dirty and he was going to do it. I said that if he did, it would probably be ruined, but it was up to him. So he said he would put it in the bath. I explained AGAIN about the instructions on it, and he laughed at me!!!!! So I said fine, do what you will, but when it is ruined - and it WILL be ruined, I will be chanting 'I told you so' for the next 5 years!

2
he is repainting the house. He has a very odd painting technique, which is to get the brush/roller, scoop out a load of paint, balance it on the brush/roller and slap it on the wall/ceiling and spread it out. Now this results in paint everywhere and is a bloody mess. I have said SO MANY TIMES that you can't use the brush/roller like a trowel! I have done the painting myself before but he doesn't like that. I have demonstrated how to stroke the paint with the brush/roller, iyswim. I have pointed out the mess - new bloody carpet needed every time he paints a room! I have offered to find 'a little man' to come and do it.

He just laughs at me. and carries on doing exactly the same thing!

And this is how he is in everything. I DO know stuff, not that anyone would think it from how much I am dismissed! He never accepts anything I say, or believes that what I am saying is the right way to do something, even though it obviously IS THE BEST WAY!!

Now, it could be argued that I am a bossy control freak but really really really when I say X is how something is done, it is because I am quoting what the instructions say, or because, like for example, the painting, his way is CLEARLY WRECKING THE HOUSE!!!

I have to leave the computer now, because he is heading this way to paint the rest of the carpet ceiling. Back later to see if anyone read this massive massive rant and has any advice how to get him to obey listen.

Here's what I think:

Men are secretly hugely daunted by how supremely capable their partners are and the ignoring them is a way of pretending its not so (or given them a minute to think up a clever response)

Sometimes they are just ignorant morons and actually believe they are right - but it doesnt actually MAKE them right

I had an amusing incident the other day. We dont usually shower one after the other but on this occasion DP went in after me and found the shower wouldnt come on. Its already got a dodgy switch which means you have to use the wall switch outside to turn it on.

When I turned it off I noticed the switch was quite warm and said "Maybe you need to give it a minute" I thought it was overheated and maybe needed to cool down, but before I could say this he said, in his most withering tone
"Dont be ridiculous"
I was quite stung and not a little pissed off so just said "I've seen it before" and went into the other room, leaving him muttering about fuses and calling the landlady (who he didnt want to bother about the dodgy switch though - WTF???)

You can imagine my delight when he tried the switch five minutes later and the shower obligingly gushed hot water.
He stood there sputtering "that's not right"

I had to go into the other room to have a good snigger.
Another theory - they just cant STAND to be wrong. Especially if you're right...

Now here's a funny thing; I just read the first post and realised I've got one exactly the same - but he's only 7. I can't get him to do DIY, but its the same story with almost everything. For example trying to eat a whole potato on a fork - me telling him nicely, him completey ignoring, then usually BLAMING me when it goes on the floor. Another one is trying to turn inside out clothes around without taking them off. It is mathematically impossible, but try telling him that, expecially at bedtime.

Hecate - thinking I need to learn how to turn my phone onto record quickly!
Hope he bought you new curtains - I would have been speechless with a mixture of fury and disbelief!

Jacks - he tried to rehang the buggers, all covered in paint!!! I had to become very very shrill indeed before he got new ones.

I made dogs howl.

Sorry hecate but you are so funny!! I still keep thinking about the "hur, hur, hur" thing!

I'm afraid my dh also never listens to anything I say so I have no helpful advice whatsoever. Except that every now and then I manage to get him to talk about the economy and then I overwhelm him with the bits I can remember from my Economics degree whilst he sits there baffled.

DH never lsitens much either. I ahve it sussed now thouugh. if I want to say to him "I've jsut spent money we can't afford on lots of clothes for myself" then i wait until there's sport (any sport, it doesn't matter) on TV or he is on teh PC and will tell him then, knowing that he won't listen.

PIl is awful though. Whatever Step MIl says he belittles her and says things like "Stupid woman what do you know". He will then proceed to do whatever it is he's doing - assembling a unit for example - while SMIL will be reading the instructions, trying to tell him what to do - he will moan at her again - then will be unable to assemble the unit and call her stupid and say why didn't you read the instructions properly

Hecate - your dh makes me howl, never mind the dogs!

i used to have one like this. Now he is my XDH.

funny...very funny x

Well. There's a little update on the painting. Darling darling husband did the living room walls Thursday night while I took the kids to bed and then just buggered off myself . Nearly midnight he finished.

I came down in the morning. Took one look and said........

"I don't liiiiiiiike it."

I don't dare type what he called me, but he incorporated every single letter of the alphabet into it!

You see, I chose the paint in the first place.

I said, "No, it's no good. I hate it. We have to change it."

Bless him, he didn't kill me, and we went to get different paint.

He took yesterday off to relax and lower his blood pressure and right now he is masking off the ceiling and skirting boards, ready to begin painting when I take the kids to bed tonight.

When I see it in the morning, I really really really want to tell him I don't like it, just for the laugh.

If I disappear from mumsnet and you never hear from me again.....

But you have to say "I don't like it - hur, hur, hur".

PMSL......you have really cheared my up with this thread. All men are the same. My dp thinks that he is an ace at DIY but if he didn't bloody break everything in the first place then there would be no DIY needing doing....

Hecate your dh will be starting his won thread 'does anyone else have a wife who makes you do exhausting jobs to her precise specifications and then tells you she doesn't like the results, hur hur hur...'

Oh yes, yes, yes, that is exactly what happens round here. Dh is lovely and all that but has a real blind spot when it comes to stuff I know about. Will not listen. But will happily take the same advice from someone else. Grrr.

I get this too. Then he'll say X at work says... and when I say "I said that!" he looks all surprised.

Hecate your curtains... did you cry?

My DH is like that.

He'll be getting annoyed by trying to do something one way, so i'll suggest another.. much simpler way to do it.

but oh no.. he knows best.. cue 2 hours of still trying and getting angry that it won't do what he wants until he gives up and stomps around like a bear with a sore head.

Then does it the way i suggested 2 hrs previously

sigh

Well.

I thought you might like to know what happened next.

As you know, I didn't like the paint in the living room, so my darling husband went and repainted it. It looked nice.

But then, today, we had the new carpet fitted.

And it clashed with the walls!

So.

erm.

ahem.

He's repainted it AGAIN tonight. Third time's a charm. The living room looks nice again now.

But I have another problem. the paint we chose for the kitchen was a sort of terracotta (sp) and dh painted the kitchen the other day....... but it actually looks sort of salmon, would you believe!

I hate it and I just know it's going to look horrible with the new blinds being fitted on Thursday.

I'm just too scared to tell him........

what else can I say but... hur hur hur!

Hecate, I am ROFL

LMAO

Well, right bloody sympathetic pair you are!

Don't suppose one of you would tell him while I hide in, oh, I dunno..........Tasmania???

when he ruins the coat, take a piccy of it and post it on mn so we can all laugh at him, lol (feeling evil emoticon)

my h ignores everything i say, then a few days later tells me of his idea which will be the one i said previously....yes, why are they all so crap?

they do this because....they don't want us to find out how crap they are. they don't realise that we see through it all already