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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Sister rivalry

3 replies

bluebells34 · 20/06/2022 09:32

I have never been close to my sister - there has always been an underlying jealousy (on her part) not sure why as she has a successful job, large house, 3 holidays a year and is totally opposite to me who struggles to make ends meet. Whenever we had family gatherings she would make a nasty bitchy comment and there would always be a horrible atmosphere. Since my mother passed away we no longer do 'family get togethers' it is always separate. She never spends Christmas with us so it is always me that spends time with my father. She seems to land on her feet all of the time. Married to a wealthy business man - she had an affair - he divorced her, she got the house and huge amounts of maintenance for the children. Got together with the man she had an affair with but he did not earn enough money so she went on a dating site, and he has moved into her house. The father of my child abused me terribly - has never paid any maintenance and I have had a couple of awful relationships where they cheated and treated me really badly. The reason why I am posting this is it was Fathers day yesterday. Again not celebrated with my sister and my dad - it was separate. I took him out for breakfast on Saturday and sister invited him over for lunch on Sunday. He is 78 no longer drives and likes a drink. She sent him a text saying he would have to make his own way over as she was 'too busy' so I ended up driving him over to her house (30 minute drive) and collecting him. Am I being unreasonable but she invited him for lunch - there is two of them but I ended up being a taxi driver? It really upset me - then Dad got cross on the way home as she had spent the entire lunch slagging me off saying she hardly sees me and that I make no effort - He said he does not want to pass away knowing we will be at logger heads and the whole situation was just horrible. I know I sound sorry for myself and probably jealous of my sister which I am but it has left me feeling so rubbish and low today

OP posts:
heartbroken22 · 20/06/2022 14:05

I'm so sorry you're feeling this way. I've got sisters and it can feel like this sometimes. Since you're dads old he doesn't need to be hearing this and good on you for not moaning to him. She seems childish yet somehow seems like she wants to get to know u better. Could you somehow throw in the towel and meet up and say dads old I don't want to be doing this in his last years...you're both going to need each other when he's not there x

LovePoppy · 20/06/2022 14:14

I don't understand why you drove him?? She could have arranged something. He could have taken a cab - or not had a drink.

Are you in Therapy? you need to find out why you let people treat you so poorly

bluebells34 · 20/06/2022 15:04

@LovePoppy you are right today in reflection today I thought why did my sister not call a taxi for him or he could have taken the initiative. It all happened last minute and I guess I panicked and wanted him to have a nice fathers day. He has a dog that he does not like leaving for a long time and sister told him not to bring the dog over as she has cats and did not want the hassle - although the dog has been over on previous occasions. No I am not in therapy but probably need to be as it seems I let people take advantage of my good nature

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