Is there any way of coping with DP's snoring

[creamedcustard]

It's nearly every night now. Loud, rattling snores.
I've found i.can just about manage if I go to bed at least an hour before DP does, although sometimes I get woken up by the noise too.
We have a 2nd bedroom where we could fit a single bed but DP works from home there and is unwilling to move his hobby stuff (which he never uses!) out of there. So I have to sleep on the sofa with the dog, or kick DP out to sleep on the sofa, when I can't sleep in bed with him.
We've tried getting him tested for eligibility for a CPAP machine but the NHS said he doesn't meet enough of the criteria for it. The night he tested himself at home I didn't hear him snoring, sods law!
I'm at my wits end. I've tried earplugs, got him to try mouthguards, nose strips etc. Nothing is working and it's making me more irritable towards DP. Help!

No advice but I feel you. I have not slept in the same room for about 4 months now I sleep in whichever kids bed is free. He needs to lose a few more lbs then will get referred. It is really taking a toll on our marriage though (dont think he is aware how much as I know it cannot change so pointless mentioning it). We go away next week and although I am looking forward to it I am dreading sleeping in the same room.

We have tried a tennis ball sewn into a t-shirt, earplugs, a throat spray and a mouth Guard. Nowt is working. We are only 4 years into our relationship and being the littlest hobo in my house was not what I imagined when we met.

I feel for you - it is so tiring and frustrating if you are not getting enough sleep. My ex snored so badly we ended up in separate rooms but he demanded I slept in his bed but it was making me ill - I could not function and was losing so much weight. It was one one of the factors why our relationship ended. I honestly do not think I could put myself through it again after being single for so many years. My bed and sleep is my sanctuary. I think your partner needs to stop being so selfish and clear the 2nd bedroom out - sleep is a basic need that we all should be entitled to - there is no cure for snoring but there a solution ...separate bedrooms! Good Luck !

My husbands snoring was terrible for years, but he “liked sharing a bed”. So for ages I put up with it, even though I was sleeping terribly due to menopausal night sweats.

Then I overheard him talking to some mates who he goes on short cycling holidays with “oh no, we’ll have to get separate rooms mate, my snoring terrible, you wouldn’t want to have to listen to that all night long”

So obviously fine for a wife to have to listen to his snoring, but not another bloke. Heaven forbid!

So, either kick him out of bed when he snores and make him sleep on the sofa. Or move his hobby stuff and order yourself a single bed. just do it and value yourself and your sleep as a priority, because he obviously doesn’t.

We also sleep in separate rooms. It's not the best but at least I sleep. Even with him next door I sometimes need to put thunderstorms on my phone really loudly to drown it out!! I'd rather listen to rain, and I can sleep through that. I'm also dreading holiday. He needs to lose weight. He's not that heavy but he needs to be really slim and then doesn't snore or much more gently.

I wish i had the answer, my very slim, very fit DH developed a snore about a year ago and it drives me mad, we too have tried the nose clips and spray but no joy. I resort to earplugs but really don't like them but its the only way to get some sleep.

You can rent a cpap machine if your finances will allow it?

But there's noooo way you should be sleeping on the sofa because he can't be arsed fixing his snoring. And as for him not wanting to move his redundant hobby equipment so a single bed can be placed in the spare room? Fuck that.

What's his attitude towards the issue? Sounds like there might be more going on, with him refusing to move his stuff to create a solution.

Has he heard himself? It’s hard to believe how bad it is until you know how you sound!

Ask him to get the SnoreLab app and use it, he’ll be able to hear it(!) And see graphs and try to work out what helps. Its objective and no risk of you exaggerating, shaming or misrepresenting (not that you are but if he’s hiding behind that idea) he’ll have the cold hard facts instead.

Sleep deprivation is a form of torture - he should not be inflicting this on you when there is an option to use the spare room/sofa.

Im the snorer I have moved to the spare room, I have with various tests reduced my snoring but it’s not gone yet so I’m still there and still recording and trying things.

GP took problem seriously and changed my antihistamines and gave nasal steroids for a few weeks and the change was significant also not eating after 7pm and no fizzy drinks has also helped. Going to bed relaxed and earlier also helps for me.

Put yourself first, he won’t do that for you. Fancy that, his hobby stuff taking precedence over his wife’s rest.

How on Earth did things get so bad?

Pack up the unused hobby and buy a single bed.
If you go to bed earlier start off with him, if you wake up with the snoring, relocate.
We've done this for the past year when my husband started snoring ( not every night but enough that I couldn't get back to sleep) .
He was upset initially but I said it was about my sleep not his and I was happy to be the one to move.
There might be a week when I only go to the single once, sometimes it might be three nights.
I sleep better, I'm not upset or angry with him and we both get enough sleep.

We both snore, usually on alternate nights so someone is always being woken up. Separate rooms is bliss. Means we are not waking each other and I can sleep with the windows open as much as I like. He hates sleeping with the windows open, I have sleeping with them closed.

Do what's best for you and sleep in the spare room. Don't suffer sleep deprivation because of him.

Also try silicone ear plugs. They work well.

DP struggles with change and especially changed surroundings (borderline ADD/ASD) so it takes time for him to come round to the idea of moving "his" hobby/WFH room around; its where he goes to decompress. However the single bed argument is a compelling one! We could do with it for any guests who may want to stay as well.
He's generally been quite open to trying solutions for his snoring and sympathizes with my frustration over it (he sorted out the CPAP test himself) but will need pushing on the separate beds front. I will measure up the room and just go ahead and sort it. Thanks all!

No advice but sympathy!

we manage with a combo of silicon earplugs and him sleeping in the spare room.

Snoring really is the worst and it’s just so selfish on the part of the snorer.

I bought myself a great big superking sleigh bed and moved into the spare room with the cats. It was getting close to me killing him in his sleep. I can still hear him from my cat nest but not as badly.

Partner snores, we got round it by him sleeping with 3 plump pillows to keep him more upright. It works!

The kids found this because it is actually the sound dh makes! I didn't sleep at Xmas because he was sleeping in the loft from above my bedroom and the sound echoed everywhere.

https://youtube.com/shorts/64FFmwJEN2o?feature=share

I would welcome a hearty snore tbh. DH squeeks and grinds his teeth while moaning. We do have a spare bedroom which I use when its very annoying during insomnia attacks but I'm losing it next year when DD moves into it as she needs more space, her room is tiny and needs to be my office..

Has anyone tried the anti snoring pillows? It has made things much better for DH so worth a try.

Divorce cured my husbands snoring, and my awful insomnia. I realise that's the nuclear option though.

My DH snores really loudly especially after drinking. It's worse once I notice it because then I'm focussed on it and it drives me mad! Atm it's not too bad as often one of the kids is in our bed so I'll go in there but I've already decided that eventually I might need to take the desk out of the box room and put a single in there. I don't mind really. I always start in the room with him but ultimately we both need our sleep. I'm just glad we have the option with a spare room.
Op, definitely set yourself up with a lovely comfy sleeping area.

Definitely claim the room. He can have his hobby stuff in the room he sleeps in.

Separate rooms is the way forward. I can’t believe I put up with poor sleep for so long.

Mouth taping with micropore?

Do what I do. Sleep in the spare room - insist upon it ! Sleep is important