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Original poster

BF wants a break

16 replies

Whoknows11 · 20/06/2022 04:15

My bf of 18 months has announced he wants a break as we argue a lot. I'm at a bit of a loss to know what a break actually means. He's just told me via text as doesn't want to speak as he's tired of arguing. How do I move on?

OP posts:
MolliciousIntent · 20/06/2022 04:51

In this order...

Tell him you think a break is just delaying the inevitable, give him back his stuff and block his number.

Have a huge cry - block out a day or two where you just properly grieve this relationship.

Call your mates and get some proper support - girly dinners, sleepover etc, be a teen about it.

Find something new to get excited about - hobby, project, work etc.

Amdone123 · 20/06/2022 04:53

I agree with pp. Let him go.
18 months isn't that long and if all you do is mostly argue, what's the point?

Original poster
Whoknows11 · 20/06/2022 05:14

They'd great advice about saying he's delaying the inevitable! Thanks.

OP posts:
Original poster
Whoknows11 · 20/06/2022 05:22

We argue every couple of weeks. We don't communicate well even though we speak a lot. He lives an hour away so only see each other once a week or so. It's just so hard to move on when I thought that I was happy. I know it'll take time but it is so difficult.

OP posts:
JuneJubilee · 20/06/2022 05:59

Yep, hard as it might be. Agree with him that things aren't working & you want a break, but a permanent one. NOT to get him to 'see sense' but because it really isn't working.

Find a fish closer to home next time 😊

it might not feel like it right now, but you will be fine 🌸

Original poster
Whoknows11 · 20/06/2022 06:12

Thank you

OP posts:
Hiddenvoice · 20/06/2022 07:32

Im sorry you’re going through this. Maybe the distance was just too much for you.
Agree it isn’t working and wish him the best.
Take some time to focus on you and when you’re ready, find someone closer to home.

gannett · 20/06/2022 07:35

It's just so hard to move on when I thought that I was happy.

You were arguing every couple of weeks. You weren't happy. That's not what happiness is. If you're really happily in love, you're not arguing all the time.

Let this break be a break-up for good, and you'll give yourself a greater chance of finding real happiness.

User1406 · 20/06/2022 08:50

Whoknows11 · 20/06/2022 05:22

We argue every couple of weeks. We don't communicate well even though we speak a lot. He lives an hour away so only see each other once a week or so. It's just so hard to move on when I thought that I was happy. I know it'll take time but it is so difficult.

The long distance is probably a big factor. I've been in a long-distance relationship in the past, as have a few of my friends. We all agree that long-distance causes more arguments because things can easily be misinterpreted over text message. There have been numerous times when I used to argue with my ex via text. But if those things had been said in person, we would have just laughed it off, and kissed and made up.

Long-distance is hard. But it also makes it easier to move on as you are used to not seeing him every day anyway.

Take time out for yourself. Don't contact him. Focus on yourself and your own hobbies. Get some fresh air, get some exercise, be the best you.

Shehasadiamondinthesky · 20/06/2022 08:52

He doesn't want a break he wants to break up but he's too chicken to tell you like most men.
Why do you argue so much?

Giveitall · 20/06/2022 08:55

It’s a man’s way of saying “it’s over.”
Accept it with dignity and move on.
There’s some great advice here.
Take notice of it. You’ll be fine.

RockinHorseShit · 20/06/2022 09:03

he wants a break

Translation... he wants to check out the waters for a replacement, whilst keeping his options open & not looking like a cheater as "you're on a break"

It doesn't sound like it's a relationship worth fighting for anyway, so he's doing you a favour. My reply would be...

"a break, really, that's just silly & dragging out the inevitable, but now you bring it up, you're right, you're not making me happy either, so let's just call it a day"

Soangrynow · 20/06/2022 09:08

How do you feel about him OP? Do you welcome this break? Why are you arguing so much?

Watchkeys · 20/06/2022 09:18

I think it'd be useful to have a look at why you call a relationship with lots of arguments 'happy'.

Did your parents argue a lot?

Original poster
Whoknows11 · 20/06/2022 09:23

Yes great advice thank you for taking your time to reply. I agree about the distance being an issue. I never thought it was an issue but the text arguments aren't healthy. Even breaking up over messages isn't right.

Somehow I need to pull myself together. I've done in before in worse terms so know I can but just now it feels all too much.

OP posts:
sunlovingcriminal · 20/06/2022 09:26

It will hurt more today, and slightly less tomorrow and then decrease! And it'll give you the opportunity to meet Mr Right (if that's what you want to do). At the moment he is a barrier to you meeting someone really special and worth it 🙂🙂🙂

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