My sister really pissed me off today

[RosieLeaLovesTea]

I am fairly Low contact with my sister. She hates my DH and is always critical of us or him to others in The family. Also she decided she turned him she does not bother seeing my kids, her niece and nephew. She will provide a Xmas and birthday gift but that’s it. No wanting to meet up or go on outings. She does not really like children and does not have any herself. But she makes an effort to spend the With her husband’s nieces/nephews.

it was her birthday 2 weeks ago. I text her to say happy birthday and apologised that I didnt get her a card. She said it was fine She went On holiday to the Maldives on her birthday and I was going on holiday to Florida for 2 weeks.

I was under pressure today as I was going to drive an hour to a friends kids birthday party. I got card and present for that. Plus it was father days so I text to say I was dropping round a card and present for our dad who was going to see her. He helps me lots with my garden.

as soon as she opened the door she said ‘so where’s my card then?’
I said I am sorry and I had intended to get it organised. She said it’s fine it’s fine. It’s obviously not fine. So I turned and left immediately.
I was going to the shops and neeed to get petrol. I got her a card and a gift card fora meal out which is always what I had intended to get her. I just ran out of time. I was very stressed leaving for our holiday and having to get COVID tests and certificates.

i got the card and gift card and I posted it through her door about 45 mins later. I she did text me saying sorry she upset me but she thinks it’s important to remember cards. She text me at 4.30pm thanking me for the card. I have not responded to either.

but knowing how I know she talks about me and my DH behind my back. I just cannot take her bullshit anymore.

we just lost our grandmother in April and had the funeral on 20th May.

Also we lost a close relative in December. I drove my mum and other sister to the funeral in London in February and she sent is a nasty text completely out of the blue about how she felt left out.

Anyone else have a similar relationship with their sibling? How do you deal with it??

You've had 12 months since the last birthday to sort a card. YABU.

I'd be shitty with my sibling if they couldn't be arsed to get me a birthday card. Your sister might be low contact for a reason.

I think this is on you. You should have remembered her birthday and the fact you dropped a card and present to your father but still no card for her was thoughtless. It’s only because she made you feel bad that you went and got the card and voucher.
hopefully she will text you but she probably knows you did it out of duty rather than wanting to. Your post reads as a lot of excuses tbh

I think you’re overly sensitive and seem to like making excuses. Whilst sad, what has the death of relatives got to do with it all?

You should have been more thoughtful to her

I did remember her birthday.I wished her a happy birthday and explained I had not got her a card. She said don’t worry I am not gong to be there as I am going on holiday. I always intended to get that and the gift card. But if it was the other way around it would not be the first thing i said to her if I had not see her since our grandmothers funeral.

would love to hear her side of the story regarding your relationship. Other than not liking her nothing in you post is much of a reason To not bother with a card.

It's likely she feels like you do lots for other people but can't even remember to get her a card

I don't get cards for anyone. If they are close enough I see them or phone them to wish them well. They are far too expensive and just end up in the recycling anyway. If people don't like it, tough.
Tell your sister to grow up.

She is the sort of person who makes a list 3 months before and expects to get everything on that list.

Why didn’t she travel with you, the other sister and mum to the funeral? Depending on the reason I can see why she might have been upset?

I would understand it if I hadn’t acknowledged her day at all. But I did a I wished her a happy birthday. I had not forgotten.

Oh who cares about f---ing cards? I post a happy birthday on Facebook and so does everyone elseI know (if we remember).

@FAQs because it was not important her to to attend. She thought it was just my mum and dad going. But I said I could go and I offered to drive my mum. My dad was glad to stay at home. So he changed his mind. Then my sister decided to come at the last minute. Know she then found out that my mum, me and my sister went it suddenly all became about her being left out, she was angry at all of us and text us completely out of the blue. As far as I was told she was working and had physio on her back that day and could not come.

I can’t see much point in getting a card weeks after the birthday, it seems a bit childish tbh, on her part.

Your sister sounds like hard work. Complaining over the lack of a piffling birthday card! Smacks of wanting to be the centre of everyone's attention.
Avoid her as much as you possibly can and don't pander to her.

OP, you come off worse in this. Sorry.

I don’t understand why she was so bothered about getting a card if you’re low contact anyway - but I also don’t understand why, having got her one, you now resent having done so and aren’t replying to her texts.

How serious are the issues between her and your husband?

She was bottom of your priorities. That’s not very kind. With moonpig etc you didn’t even need to physically go and buy one.

That's lazy for close friends and family.

i think I am in the sister camp on this one.

So you didn't bother giving her a card, even though you have been to the card shop twice already. You also didn't give her a lift to the funeral with your mum and other sister. But she's the one in the wrong???

Its you, op. You are the mean sister, not her

Oh yes... the 'far too expensive' 10 for £1 from Card Factory... 🙄

A hand written card with a message in is a lovely gesture. And it means someone actually made an effort to do something, & something nice, for the recipient.

Other than just bless them with your company or dulcet tones - like you're the gift yourself 😂

As for Facebook wall posts another poster mentioned. Grim. They're about as meaningful as viral posts for 'thoughs and prayers' for little Timmy's dead goldfish and a step further down than even a thoughtless Moonpig card.