Just need some gentle polite reminders to hold my nerve and that I am doing the right thing.
I posted a while back after being really proud that I had told dh that I wasn't happy.
Him being unfaithful a while ago and my counselling gave me the confidence to speak up and say that I don't think I am over it and I am not sure I can be.
We decided to take a month to think, look into options and come back to the table with what we had found.
In hindsight I wish I hadn't given a month as I had looked into things in the first week.
I've focused on what I feel the problems are (with him and also self reflection), I've contacted a relationship counsellor to see what is involved etc, I've looked at what benefits I may be entitled to should we split.
I've covered a lot of bases.
I am now just playing the waiting game and it sucks. In this lull of waiting for the month to be up (we have a date and time "booked") he has started to help more, he's making more effort. It is starting to make me doubt trial separation.
Maybe I do live him and I can get back that sexual attraction. Maybe it would be a mistake, is this just a bad patch and we'll get through it.
On the other hand it feels its been quite easy for him to help more, so why the F wasn't he helping a year ago when I was screaming our for support. Do I really want to move on from seeing a message saying "lucky I had bottoms on", I deserve better even if that was 7 years ago.