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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Is mum's partner cheating on her?

4 replies

Mysteriousnotice · 18/06/2022 22:55

Have name changed for this purely to stop any of my other posts being connected.
I have a suspicion that my mums partner is cheating on her.
She's been with him over 35 years. She's 10 years older than him and he has been around since I was a teenager.
They have seemed happy enough but since my mum retired it's obvious they do not have as much in common. Meanwhile her partner does lots of sports, hobbies and still works.
They rub along but he can be selfish. Mums obviously not perfect and the age difference is beginning to show.

Late last year mum suspected he was up to no good. He admitted he had been somewhere with someone else and had been spotted. He denied it but eventually admitted it. He seemed remorseful and they pulled back together after an awful week and now they rub along again.

But I just have this feeling something isn't right. He's pretty secretive with his phone, he spends a lot of time on messenger, he's out quite a lot by himself, training or with the dogs and he seems distracted. He's lost weight (could be hobby related) and seems chirpy (infatuated / in lust?) at times.

My dad cheated on my mum and I know she would be devastated if the same was happening again. I don't know what to do for the best on this one.
Any advice?

OP posts:
PixelatedLunchbox · 18/06/2022 23:05

Just be there for her when she needs you, cause it sounds like she's going to need you shortly. Sad

UserError012345 · 18/06/2022 23:05

Unfortunately there's not much you can do about it...if he is it will all come out in the wash so to speak.

You just need to be there to pick up the pieces when it hits.

Lacedwithgrace · 18/06/2022 23:17

Do you think she already knows and looks past it? Telling her your suspicions could be risky, you might have to just see how it goes and be prepared for the fall out

Mysteriousnotice · 18/06/2022 23:45

In honesty I think any man is capable of cheating and just because he's my step dad as such makes it no different. Mum is a jealous person.
The woman he was "caught" walking with was younger than me, making her 20+ years younger than my mum. Mum was beside herself.

I know if I confront him he will deny and cool anything for a while at least.

OP posts:
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