I really need advice on how to help my sister in law. She came over to the uk from abroad around 5 years ago to marry my brother. She is in the process of getting citizenship. She had no money of her own to begin with and was not allowed to work. My brother has been funding everything since she came here (quite happily I think) As soon as she could work she did in order to have a bit of spending money of her own.
She is now expecting their first baby and no longer works. The problem is though that she's told me that my brother is quite controlling of the money. They don't have any joint accounts and she doesn't know how much money he earns or how much savings he has.
Whenever she wants to buy stuff he will either take her shopping or transfer some money into her account for her to spend. She, quite rightly I think, feels frustrated. She would like to be able to go and buy stuff for the house or for the new baby without having to ask first.
I witnessed this myself recently when I was over at their house helping her pick out some baby equipment online that she then wanted to order. We sat there for ages waiting for my brother to come and enter his credit card to complete the purchase. It seemed so controlling.
I'm not at all used to this kind of set up. I'm a stay at home mum and haven't earned my own money in years. But me and my husband have always had joint accounts and joint access to finances.
I really want to help my sister in law out. She just wants my brother to transfer some money to her each month. An allowance I suppose. Apparently she's been asking and he says he'll sort it but never does.
How can I raise this with him?! We do get on well but talking about stuff like this is tricky to get right without him feeling like I'm interfering.