Sisters bf- red flag?

[Sundaycoffee]

I was round hers last night for a catch up.
Her fiance was in the kitchen and called out "(Name), I've got a job for you to do"
She walked into the kitchen and he said "i need you to go upstairs and see if there are any empty water glasses"
(Which she did)
I thought this was a bit strange to delegate tasks to a partner and was wondering if this is a red flag/ a bit controlling.
Never been totally sure about the guy. He gives me lots of unsolicited "work" advice when I see him at family events and my parents ask how things are going which always irks me a bit!
Hoping I'm probably just over reacting because it's someone I care about!

Yeh, surely you"d just run upstairs qnd grab the glasses. Unless he was cooking??

If he gives her tasks he could do himself in front of her family i would also wonder how he carries on with nobody watching.

He asked her to go and check for glasses why? Because he was making drinks and there were not enough glasses? Because he was putting the dishwasher on? Context is everything. I don't see asking the person you live with to do someone as a red flag though. It's absolutely normal within relationships to ask each other to do things. I just asked DH to make me some lunch. No red flag there, I will make tea.

I think he was cleaning / filling the dishwasher at the time so I suppose he was "busy". I don't think he realised I was there as he had just come in from the garden.
Just the wording "I have a job for you"
Shes never mentioned anything before though and they are recently engaged and seem happy!

Right so he was doing the dishes and asked her to check upstairs for glasses, which is absolutely normal.

I think if he had said "Name, do you mind giving me a hand with something" I wouldn't have blinked an eye but potentially I'm overanalysing things here!

You absolutely are.

Do/would you mind..?
Do you know if there are any….?
Don’t suppose you could just check..?
All fine.
‘I have a job for you’

I would say that to DH as well as all the things you mention above. Maybe they do side things to be jobs and happily just muck in.

It's somewhat strange wording but it's really not enough to go on to make any kind of assessment on whether or not he's controlling.

It depends on his tone as well. I can imagine it both being said in a jokey/tongue-in-cheek way, as well as in a more bossy and domineering way.

I say similar to my family if washing up to try and get the whole sweep in at the same time. Much more efficient.

As for work advise he possibly feels a bit lost at family gatherings so sticks to what he thinks is a safe subject.

So basically from your post no red flags I can see.

Totally overanalyzing

Are you single or jealous? Are you just looking for issues?

In the context you have given it would not raise a red flag for me at all.

I always ask DH to grab glasses etc. When I'm cleaning the kitchen.

That’s probably one of the most normal things I’ve ever heard and something I’d absolutely say myself

I think the wordings peculiar - I say similar to my kids "Can someone do me a job" but they're all very young still. I wouldn't phrase it that way for a partner any other person though

I literally say this a minimum of once a day 🤦🏼‍♀️ one of my household jobs (they’re fairly delegated) is to do the dishes. This means around 20
mins of washing up, drying and putting away. Whilst I’m filling the sink and making sure the plates are properly scraped, I’ll ask my oh to search the entire house for anything that needs washing. And most of the stuff he’ll find is shite I’ve left lying round. The poor wee mite 😂

Me too! I wonder if our DPs are posting on some forum somewhere complaining about being asked to do ‘jobs’ 😂

He sounds like a condescending knob.

Keep your eyes on him OP.

It's the lack of a please that's the issue for me.

I don't see any red flag here at all.

Also maybe she's always the one leaving the glasses upstairs instead of bringing them down, which would explain the lack of saying 'please'.

Is your sister incapacitated in some way that prevents her from deciding whether she will go upstairs or not and get water glasses as her partner is in the process of filling the dish washer?

It sounds like you are trying to pick fault with him because you don't like him.

OP you've too much time on your hands going around analysing simple domesticity in other people's homes.
Do you actually have anything to worry about?

I usually ask someone else to do a sweep of the house for washing up too. Saying that I shouldn't if they were busy talking to a guest

It does sound like he was talking to a child who maybe needs the task spelling out to them rather than an equal

Nothing wrong with saying, Name, could you check if there is any glasses upstairs.

No need to call her into the kitchen.

most odd

But then you say he gives you unsolicited work advice. Seems like he has a need to be in charge of people.

Does he in conversations repeat ideas, plans etc people have as though the idea came from him.