Moving on with life after separation

[lking679]

Hi all,
I’m wondering how you navigated being single again and moving on in your separation?
I mean in general with life, like did you pick up any hobbies? Start doing stuff you hadn’t for a while? And ultimately how did you meet a new partner? For consideration keep in mind young children in tow (dd’s are 5,2 and baby) so not liberated per se but assume I will be some of the time in future.
Not officially separated yet but we will be and so far all friendly and amicable it’s been a long time coming.
But i’m wondering what the other side will be like and how to make the most of it. (And yes have read Helen Thorns book, but her kids are older than mine!). Doubt a new partner will be on my radar but certainly social life will be important and I only have coupled up mum friends mostly! I live in London.
Thanks!

I separated 2 years ago and piece by piece I've been rebuilding myself and my life. Here's a few things that have worked for me:

• Moving from part-time to full-time work, immediately getting a 20% payrise.

• Having a policy of not turning down invitations. Whenever I'm asked out for dinner or a night out with old friends, new friends, or potential friends, I take them up on the offer. The same goes for weekends away. Their dad has my kids when I'm not around, so win win. I now get away for 3-4 weekends a year (this was unheard of before), and probably average 1 x dinner/night out a month, sometimes more, sometimes less. It's not excessive, but so much more than what I used to have.

• Organising regular time for the kids to be with their dad has helped. They usually spend Saturday nights with him and while I was initially sad at the idea, I love Saturdays now. Whether I sit in and enjoy some me time, or I go out, it gives me space and a chance to recharge.

• Joining a local running club and the gym has given me not just new friends, but also a community.

• Investing in my own growth through regular therapy, I'm determined to come out of this a better version of myself.

My life now is more fulfilling, I get joy and a sense of purpose from my kids, my career and colleagues, and my old and new friends. I feel more connected to people, whereas in my marriage I was lonely and isolated and sad. I can be both selfish and fully focused on my children without another person/bad relationship seeping into every part of my life and sucking all that is good from me.

This is a really really positive post! Thank you!

Yes that’s great advice thanks!