Friend helping with domestic abuse and Sexual abuse

[Buzlightyear1]

I don't know what to do, my ex was abusive . I have an amazing friend who has helped me so much. I had a meeting with the local domestic abuse advisor to help for my son contact with his dad. My friend has been amazing, but I'm worried about upsetting her . As she looked very upset during the appointment, she had tears in her eyes. I have asked her to make sure she let's me know if its to much. But I'm not sure she actually would i don't want to break her with my crap it was so hard seeing her like that. She is an amazing person who is so strong. I'm thinking of not telling her anymore than she knows and stopping talking about it but then she might get more worried I really don't know what to do

First of all, I'm sorry you had to go through an abusive relationship.
Secondly, how incredibly lucky you are to have a friend who is so supportive of you.

I think you are overthinking this a bit much though, I'm sure that your friend would rather be there for you. Of course things will be difficult for her to hear, but she's your friend and she'll want to hold your hand along the way.

I had a new colleague recently tell me that she'd left an abusive partner. I'd known this woman for 3 days, and I was close to tears. I wanted to just give her a hug. And if she was a friend of mine, I'd 100% want to be there for her in every way possible. It's just an emotive subject. Your friend is bound to be upset that things happened to you. We are all human after all.

Thank you I appreciate that. Its good to hear from someone else point of view. The last thing I want to do is upset her she has been so amazing and I really don't know how I would have got through the last few weeks without her. She even let me go sleep in her front room and went to pick my son up from the school. As I've been unable to sleep due to nightmares from whats happened. So the last thing I want is to hurt her.

I think tears can be a beautiful expression of empathy - you’ve been through awful experiences and your friend is feeling for you. Lovely that you noticed and checked if she was okay - that says a lot about your own capacity for empathy. So glad you have support OP.

Thank you, I really do appreciate that I just don't want to hurt anyone. I am trying to work out what is actually ok and whats not. It had been going on since 2007 when I was 18 he was 38. I just forgot what normal looks like and didn't want to hurt someone who has been so amazing.

100% your friend loves you. Please keep confiding in her x

Thank you, really means a lot. She has done so much to help me out sitting in meetings and helping me get my home sorted. So I don't have reminders everywhere, she is the most practical person and is a great help. I'm so lucky to have the help .