Finding courage

[Pelafina]

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you need to go
its hard and scary but if you dont go, you'll feel worse & lonely

could you ring a contact from the NCT (there should be one on the poster) and explain that you're new to the area & would like someone to meet when you arrive. They will be more than willing to take you under their wing.

where are you?

everyone will feel the same, pretty much.. we all worry in social situations....

where do you live? what area? there might be mumsnetters who don't use the local site, who might be near where you are

NCT usually really friendly......, they often do coffee mornings too

if it is all a bit much, make an excuse, and go!

don't think, just go!

just walk in and be friendly. just force yourself to ask one question of another mum- something simple like how old are they- we all love to talk about our little ones! and if that person does not then respond by being friendly ask someone else. be thick skinned.asking about other people will work. and if your dc screams other people will simply be grateful it isnt theirs. honestly. it seems like it will be so hard but i am sure it will be much easier when you are there. wear a smile and just force yourself to speak to at least one person. if it doesnt go well you dont have to see any of those people again. and you will almost certainly be surprised. just tell people you dont know many people in the area, what sort of things do they get up to with their dcs whatever- asking people qs makes them feel important and they will want to speak to you.

i struggled to make 'mum' friends too....but what i discovered was that at every social gathering/playgroup etc that i went to there would be at least one mum who made it her 'duty' to talk to newcomers and ease them into the group....i'm always nervous at first but due to working in retail for years find it very easy to make small talk until you find common ground.
i'd suggest you go, tell yourself you only have to stay for one coffee......and if conversation is really tough, busy yourself with your little one. don't put pressure on yourself by thinking you have to stay for the duration......

I felt just the same as you, but made myself go and have now made some great friends. Everyone here has given good advice, best of luck.

where do you life hun?

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pelafina, just wanted to say that we moved to a new city when i was pg with ds and although i am actually an extrovert and usually very friendly, i found it very hard going along to mum and baby type things at first. I used to come home and feel even more lonely than i did before!
My ds is 14 mo now and i would say its only in the past 4 months or so that i have begun to feel like i have real friends here - and a lot of them started out as rather pathetic attempts at small talk at mum and baby things. Looking back i am sure a lot of people at those things felt the same as me but didn't want to look desperate either..it will get better, do try!

also, if you go to one group, and you just don't feel right, try another, or give the same one a few goes, as you may have picked a bad week
just go do it
i must admit, i found it excruciating, until i went to a group where the people just seemed more down to earth and didn't do the usual "interview for the position of my friend" that you get round here.
don't go too often now - work etc - but it was the best one out of the several i tried, and i always felt comfortable
you'll be reyt!