What if I am the problem?

[Answermethis2022]

This morning I was called vicious and thinking I’m better than my partner and my children. How can I work out of it is me? Obviously I don’t think I am those things.

I think we need a bit more context. What was said before he said this to you?

You are who you are. If that's what your partner thinks of you, then the two of you aren't compatible.

Has anyone else told you you're like this? Generally, if you have a host of trusted people all telling you the same thing, take note. If it's just one person who has a problem with you, then that's what it is: their problem.

There is no objective way of measuring the traits you're talking about, so he might see the same traits as vicious that you think are reasonable. You have to trust your own opinion of yourself. There is only one way to get 'being you' right, and that's to be genuine.

My preteen was fake crying because my toddler wouldn’t do something he wanted him to do my toddler was crying, I was trying to distract the toddler by asking him to tell Daddy what was in his bag (something the toddler was excited about) and my OH said he wasn’t in the mood for games. So I made a comment about them all being grumpy men. It was supposed to be a joke but obviously offended him but I wouldn’t have said it warranted that response.

We need more information here. I would be asking him, presuming it’s him although apologies if I’m wrong, why he is with me in that case if he thinks I’m like that. Sounds like just lashing out and being nasty to me, but like I said, more info needed.

Sorry, Cross posted. Yeah, he was being a twat.

Sounds like you were dealing with the situation well and OH's first cup of coffee of the morning hadn't cut in yet. Talk it over with him later. Your attempts to handle the toddler don't stike me as the actions of a vicious or selfish person though.

It’s only ever partners than end up disliking me so much, I think it’s time for me to call a day on a relationship 🙈

You were trying to make the situation 'lighter' by making a joke. OK, so he wasn't in the 'mood' for a joke, but that doesn't make you 'viscious', just HONEST !

He doesn't like being called 'grumpy', then he shouldn't act bloody 'grumpy' ffs !

Tell him he can either get over himself, and apologise, or to leave.

It's your OH who has the problem not you, OP.

He sounds downright nasty.

Is he often like this?