Break up while preagnant

[SaraSilva]

Hello everyone!

Recently my partner broke up our 7 year relashionship at the same time we found out I was preagnant. I am feeling angry, sad, frustrated with the whole situation. There are some moments of clarity but I loved him so deep and the thinking of "this could have been so much more, a family a great experience" makes me angry at his decision.
I am so concerned about the stress and the baby, i had some bleeding and i have to stay at bed rest which makes this all healing the break up harder... i am only 8 weeks preagnant, i feel alone, scared, afraid of loosing the child and so on.
I cry everyday because i remember all the good moments we spent together, it is extremely hard to be left while preagnant of the person u still love and cant forget out of the blue...

Has anyone been in this situation before? How did u cope? How do you reduze stress to prevent endangering your preagnancy?

Much love

Sara

Hi, I’m so sorry for you, this is just awful.

I haven’t had it happen to me, so I can’t offer any advice. But sending you my very best wishes. Xxx

CAn you manage the baby on your own. Do you want to be a single parent? He has behaved like a shit but you are the most important person and your life going forward. Presumably you want to keep the baby?

Thank you everyone!
Yes I do want to keep the baby, and he was very cold and "practical" thinking when he broke up. He said he would support me and everything I needed with the pregnancy and the baby, basically co-parenting... But I cannot not hate how everything went.. First he wanted to break up, then he wasnt sure, then he decided to ask me to stay then he became cold and said he wanted to be alone... all of this with me being pregnant living in his house, so i had to move out e came back again and eventually when he decided he wanted to be alone I left. Was the hardest thing ever, to move everything back to my aunts place, where i lived during college .. just because i cant now afford a house by myself or even be alone.. just cant...

He want to support me but in the end i feel that it can be worse to overcome our break up if he is constantly there if you know what i mean. It is extremely hard not to have visions on how it could have been, a family, a home together and what the reality is...

Being a single mum is hard worse going through a break up... Just need some advice on how to keep mentally healthy and positive because right now i feel totally the opposite and I am scared to death that is hurting the baby...

I was in a similar position 18 years ago.
Its hard now but it will get easier. You're going through a grieving process (and you need to allow yourself to do so). I remember getting really angry having to go back to work earlier than I'd planned and getting really weepy when dc was in hospital and I had no one to support me but these things get easier as time goes by.
I found it was best to concentrate on the practical things at first, just to take my mind off things. One step at a time.
Life goes on and you will find a new normal but for now just do what's best for you and the baby.
This year I congratulated myself I got Dc1 to adulthood in one piece and is a decent human being who is now contributing to society. To me that was success.
I won't lie it's been hard (but isn't all parenting?) dc father took no part financially, physically or emotionally. At times I don't feel I've been able to give dc what he would have got being in a two parent family but I can say I have given the best with the knowledge and resources I had at the time and that's all anyone can ask of you.
Be kind to yourself.

thank you so much for your message of support !