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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Keeping sane while still being harassed by ex

4 replies

Anne1999 · 15/06/2022 08:05

Me (22F) and my ex (24M) split up about a year and a half ago. We were together for just under 4 years. The break up was very messy and he borderline stalked me for about 4 months until I got the police involved. After this he left me be, now he has a new girlfriend and seemed happy.
Recently I noticed someone has been accessing my social media for the past 4 years. With support of my brothers friend we accessed the device and location, it is a phone that my ex owns around the location of his home.
I feel violated, I went to the police however the location and device information is too vague to prosecute. They will add the concern to his records however. I change my passwords yearly so he would have had to actively guess them multiple times over the years. I feel stressed and anxious, I’ve had to go back on antidepressants as I am just not coping. Has anyone been through a similar experience with cyber stalking? I am scared he will just hack back into my accounts or access my whole phone. I am trying to get the money together to buy a new phone!

OP posts:
Georgeskitchen · 15/06/2022 08:40

You need to set up a 2 step log in so it sends a text to your phone. That will stop him

ItWillBeOkHonestly · 15/06/2022 08:51

Change your password and click 'log out of all devices'. Use a random password generator for your new password and set up 2 factor authentication. And oh, then block him!

Also, if you had to get the police involved, that's not 'borderline stalking' it's actual stalking. You're a victim. Be kind to yourself. 😊

Pinkbonbon · 15/06/2022 09:50

I would go to the police. Even if it's just to make them aware.

But if you've changed your password a lot since then and he is still accessing then he could have put spyware in your computer or phone to spy on you. Police will be able to find that.

More likely that if you hit log out of all devices then that will solve it as he's just been logged in all this time.

But it's still stalking. So either way, police time.

BitOutOfPractice · 15/06/2022 09:52

I think the chances of him guessing 4 passwords is small. Are you sure he hasn’t got keylogger software on one of your devices. Sorry to scare you but I think you should check.

I’m so sorry this is happening to you. I can only imagine how anxious it must be making you.

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