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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

And the CF award goes to…

1 reply

Ann30567 · 14/06/2022 16:09

My mother-in-law has dementia and has got much worse recently. She has three grown up children who all have families. My partner and his sister organise everything. Care, food, bills. The other son lives in Poland and I’ve never met him. He never visits, never sends his mum Mother’s Day cards etc and only gets in touch when he wants her to send him money. As mother in law is declining so rapidly his siblings have being urging him to come so finally he said he would with his twenty two year old daughter. She has spent the morning texting my partner asking him to book the flights for them, arrange transport and if that wasn’t enough, she thinks she is staying with us!!! When he finally snapped and said no because we haven’t room as we have a small house and a baby and he thought the point was to visit his mum one last time (who has four bedrooms) she whined to her father who then text to say if he has any questions he should text him instead as she doesn’t have time to reply! My partner who has a full time job, visits his mum every other day, has a baby and now is being expected to be their travel agent, taxi and hotel? What planet are some people on??!

OP posts:
TooHotTooGreedy · 14/06/2022 16:34

If he wanted to come and see his mother he would arrange it.
He isn’t bothered, for whatever reason, so don’t organise it all for him just leave him to it.
I’m not convinced staying with his mother, who has dementia and needs care, would be a good idea anyway tbh but I can only go by my own DGM’s who had dementia & DF who currently has dementia & is declining rapidly.
Obviously you know what MIL is capable of dealing with but it doesn’t sound very fair to her to be lumbered with her useless son & granddaughter!

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