Finding love as a single Mum

[Cluelessat32]

Ladies, how on earth are you meant to find another partner?

I've been on my own for two full years. I've been pretty happy up until last week when something happened that made me realise just how much I've missed comfortable, easy intimacy.

I've tried online dating and I find it pretty hideous and demeaning. I've never really dated in the past, more had relationships with men I've known for a period of time and developed more intimate relationships with over time.

These days the only guys I meet in that sort of environment are guys I work with or for, or my friendships groups, some of whom are married.

I know a guy I work for likes me. We don't see each other often, as he works in London, but he's been quite up front and is a single Dad. But I can only see it causing issues and have steered well clear.

A few of my male friends have also made it clear, but most of them are married, which I cannot grasp and they've been give short shrift!

I can see how both examples could be pretty easy to fall into, because I've built an easy friendship/relationship over often many years. And I hate the whole dating thing where you put time into something to find they are utterly boring, work mad, or spend all their time fishing.

I'm not sure what the point of this is, apart from the fact I feel like I'm in the divorce waiting room. But also I feel like any men I like, am comfortable with or even meet at this point, are entirely fraught with drama and issues.

To be clear I'm not expecting to meet someone free of baggage. I know we all do have some. But I think there are some situations which are more fraught with drama than others. I suppose I have this perception that dating friends and work colleagues is pretty much up there as high drama scenarios.

I am happy on my own on the whole. I don't NEED someone. I'm pretty comfortable and confident about that. However I do miss intimacy and companionship. My life is pretty full, with my daughter and other interests, so I'm not looking to plug a hole, but to add to my life.

I also do at times feel a little sad that my previous relationship, which I was in since I was 17, will be all I currently know about men, intimacy and love.

I've got no words of wisdom because I met my husband 17yrs ago when I was a single mum of 2 and online dating wasn't the norm!

What I did realise though was that I met my husband when I wasn't looking for love. I was busying myself with the kids, doing a degree and focusing on my physical health trying to get fitter and suddenly out of nowhere he just turned up via a friend.

Try and do things that you are interested in and work towards your own personal goals as a way of keeping busy, you may even meet someone through those channels.

BUT I would stay very far away from mixing business and pleasure. Rarely a good mix if things go wrong!

Same as you, OP. It's been 3 years for me and I haven't been looking. However, nothing has materialised and I find myself wondering if this is it for life. There are a few possibilities at work, but that's how I've met my exes and I want to keep work separate completely. Don't have much advice, but just know you aren't alone.

It's tough op. And honestly I've given up now after 2 years of trying. Not the answer you are looking for I know. I only get a day every other week child free and I've got a child with autism so childcare for an evening out is tough to find. So I've resigned myself to the fact that I will be single for a few more years yet. I've got a very good friend who sometimes becomes a fwb kind of thing but that's about it.

I do think that good guys are snapped up quickly and tend to stay married.
How old are you and what are you looking for in a man (age, income, height)? I think it gets harder the fussier you are the smaller your pool.

I Honestly don't know...

I'm a single parent of young DC. I've been single since my husband left 2.5 years ago.

OLD is full of sexually incontinent weirdos as far as I can see. I know people who have met partners on there but I don't think I'm going to be one of them. I rarely get out to meet people. My life is work, DC and my not very man friendly hobby.

I suspect this might be it for me to be honest.