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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Can a friendship survive a break?

6 replies

ThankYou0011 · 13/06/2022 08:25

Me and my friend have had a lovely friendship. We could really rely on each other and tell each other the truth. I've always tried to be happy for her when news is shared that I perhaps don't find all that great or disagree with. But at the moment I'm finding the friendship to be somewhat suffocating.

It feels like I'm being constantly judged about things and questioned or put under the spotlight about something I've said or done. I'd like to keep the friendship going but I really feel I ought to take a step back. Every time I speak to her at the moment I enjoy the exchange of messages until I hit a nerve and it then gets a bit more intense. I end up feeling worse and anxious. I want our old friendship back (supportive and jokey) and I wonder if stepping back for a bit might help regain it?

I also don't feel like I know what is going on with her at the moment. I do ask but I kept getting met with "fine" "good" etc or "yes you keep asking/saying". It in turn is making me do the same as I don't want to be judged and I wonder if I'm just boring the crap out of her? I really don't understand what is going on.

OP posts:
Livingfairytale · 13/06/2022 08:38

Sounds like you're not that supportive, you've just said you try to be happy for her. And you keep asking what's wrong, but dont trust her response. You say you're finding the friendship suffocating, but it sounds like you're not being a great friend to her at all.

dottieautie · 13/06/2022 08:49

You’ve grown apart. It happens to everyone. Just quietly move on & maintain an acquaintance relationship.

pictish · 13/06/2022 08:52

Dunno…it’s hard to say. Friendships are transient and can change. How long have you been friends?

Foxgluv · 13/06/2022 13:29

I doubt creating distance will help the friendship become stronger. It might help you if you're needing a break from it. It sounds like you're both not getting along very well. I'd probably take a step back but not to salvage it, to avoid the negativity.

I enjoy the exchange of messages until I hit a nerve and it then gets a bit more intense.
Do you mean you say things that's offensive to her?

Watchkeys · 13/06/2022 14:49

You don't sound compatible anymore.

Mellowyellow222 · 13/06/2022 17:55

I think friendships can go though stages when you just don’t click.

it sounds like you are communicating a lot by text message - and this can be difficult.

what types of things are you saying that hit a nerve?

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