Is it loving or mean to just list someone's flaws?

[LessonsinGurning]

So I was out with my sisters tonight. We generally get on pretty well. We'd had a few drinks and my sister just starting saying she thinks I'm really funny but... Then just listed things she doesn't like about me, including stuff her and my other sisters talk about in WhatsApp not liking about me. My sister started saying to people around us, "isn't she a dick?" etc. This isn't the first time my sisters, plural, have just laid into me.

I guess I think, well, one thing I at least like about myself is that I'd never just sit and tell someone I'm meant to love all the things I don't like about them? Loads of things about my sisters annoy me but to me they're so immaterial to their totality and love for them that I don't really think about them or mind. I don't expect them to be just like me or perfect.

Should I be hurt? Is this loving telling it as it is so I can work on it, or just mean? I feel hurt. I just wouldn't do this to someone.

That’s not loving, that’s mean. I’m really sorry.

yikes, there’s a lot about my sister I don’t like but I wouldn’t say it to her. I do bitch about her to close friends tho. 😂

Honestly I'd have just got up and left.

That does feel really harsh, like your sisters true feelings are coming out after a few drinks..

I think to jokingly bring up one "flaw" may be okay, depending on what it is and the context but to list a bunch of them seems mean spirited and targeted.

I found myself saying thanks for telling me and apologising. I'm no shrinking violet, one of the things she was saying, and my other sister joined in on, was that I was too straightforward. I can be blunt, but not in a being mean way, it's not bluntness aimed at people but in things like if some random drunk person starts rambling at me I just say bye and go. There was just a lot. I feel like every time I see my sister's I come away with a list of things about myself that are shit. I was mortified to hear they'd been talking about me in group WhatsApp.

It was literally a list and came out of nowhere.