Marriage and my ex. Help.

[Confused7979]

Hi all. I feel like I'm going crazy. I've been married 15 years with a grown up child (who I had with my ex). However, I don't love my husband and always feel that my ex was the one that got away. We were both very young when we had our child and I don't think it would have ever worked then. He's got a wife and three children who he constantly cheats on. We recently met on a night out and I realise that I think I still love him. I don't have any money to move out and my husband is quite controlling but not physically abusive. I don't know what to do. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

They're two separate things.

If you feel you're unhappy in your marriage then leave him.

As for the ex, I think you're romanticising him. He cheats all the time on his current wife? Ew. I think you should be alone for a time and not in relationship while you work on yourself and why you go for men like this.

So your ex us a cheat and you think he might cheat with you?

What do you want from us? Permission? Because you won't get it.

You will get advice like ^ the above. If your marriage is over work on ending it. But don't assume your ex will make anything better. Don't self sabotage. Get some real life support and do what is best^ for you.

You don't need a reason to leave. Don't leave 'for' your ex though. He sounds a loser. Why are both your partner and ex partner dickheads, even if in different ways? Maybe spend some time when single looking at why you chose these types if men? It may help you with future relationships.

I suspect you're seeing your exes cheating as a sign that he is deeply unhappy in his marriage and wishes to be with you. This is most likely absolute rubbish. He is deeply entitled and selfish and is regularly putting his wife's health at risk. Quite simply he's vile. He would only do the same to you. So simples stay away.

As for your current husband, you need to be focused on how you can get your ducks in a row to leave this man if you're so deeply unhappy. Cheating is NEVER the answer, it will make things many many times worse for you than they already are. Personally I think you need to get into counselling to support you raising your self esteem and being able to be single.

Good luck.

If you think there is any possibility of a happy future with your ex, you're deluding yourself.

Leave your husband, forget your ex, and move on with your life. Don't be foolish enough to make the same mistake twice.

You are looking for an out of your marriage, and your ex is your out. You don’t need a reason to leave, if you’re not happy then leave. You know the ex cheats… he is not your happy ending

Thanks for your messages. I do already know that I have to leave anyway and the ex is not why, he's just made me think that I'm not being fair on my husband and that there is a life after divorce and that I'm better off alone for a bit. I like my own company regardless and it is really financial while I'm staying and that's not fair on anyone. I've always loved my ex deep down but I'm under no illusions that he's an idiot most of the time. Thanks again for your advice.