Really worried about custody *trigger warning*

[Todonow]

Hello

My bf and I have a baby.
I recently caught my boyfriend watching tons of videos of child abuse online.
He admitted everything to me, telling me some of them were teenagers, some of them were 10/11 year olds and one of them was as young as 5 years old.
I was disgusted and reported him.

He admitted it to the police officers but denied everything when he spoke to the investigator.
He is out on bail but I got a call from the investigator hinting they hadn't found anything so far and that finding incriminating evidence from videos he watched online was harder than finding evidence from content he downloaded. They basically insinuated he would most likely be released without charges.

He is still on bail but I am very scared of the outcome of the investigation if they released him without charges and he were to apply for custody.
I don't want him unattended with our son if he got shared custody, I dont trust him.

I don't know how to take it from here.
Part of me wants to stay with him to make sure I am always with our son.
But we cant live like this.
Im lost

I'm also unsure whether the case will make it to court or not. I got no update

You should contact PartnerSpeak, a chastity established by a woman who went through what you’re currently experiencing: www.partnerspeak.org.au/

Thsnk you so much, I will have a look!

No advice but just wanted to say I am so sorry you must be heartbroken 🫂

Thank you xx
I am. I feel there is going to be virtually no embetterment after this.
Husband told me being separated from the baby would make him want to die.
He insists he has no attraction to children in real life and is not a paedophile but I don't fully believe him.

I am becoming paranoid -
He once made the most random comment ("you know, when the baby is 3 or 4, he is going to start getting boners") out of nowhere and it freaked me out and I took it as a threat. I don't know what is fine to say and do and what is not anymore.
He also made a comment on how he didn't understand why regular porn was not illegal but that content (the child abuse) was illegal. It's like he doesn't even understand the gravity of what he has done.

Namechange fail

Is the police not having updated the investigation a sign of anything?

🫂

Bump

Is the police not having updated the investigation a sign of anything?

I think what this will mean is no change- he's still out on bail and those terms are still set in stone. He may not have been charged but he's still out on bail. It can take ages to be charged. I think my ex was arrested and out on bail for 4 months before he was charged.
Your MIL... Woah. Look after yourself, OP. If you need some strength to deal with this, PM me any time! I know I'm a complete stranger but I am here for you. For me, the hardest aspect- after learning that my ex is a predatory paedophile- was coming to terms with the utter manipulation of me and my children by my in-laws. They can only see the child they raised/grew up with... they can't accept the man he has become. Well, that's just not your problem. Don't let their denial become their gaslighting of you. They will tell you all sorts of shit and make you feel like you are under threat of having the kids removed, i.e. if you appear depressed if you report everything to SS, if you make HIM look bad YOU lose, so to speak. It is ALL bullshit. Be OPEN as a book with SS and do everything in the world to protect your child from him and his family... hand on heart, I learned that the very people who declared their undying love and protection for my children were the very people who threw us under the bus in a heartbeat to protect the perpetrator... and it's never that bad in their eyes. I think to this day, my in-laws think it's not so bad what my ex did. I sat in a courtroom listening to the judge read out what he did to my daughter and still... he had floods of letters from the in-laws supporting him.
Look after you and your baby. Because no one else will do it better.
For you and for your baby, you must continue with the path you are on: Release this man to the arms of the law. I would actively disengage from your in-laws if at all possible. I had to do this. I blocked them and abruptly ended my relationship with them. They were devious, controlling, and uncaring towards my daughter. Good enough reasons! You have those very same reasons to stop all contact.
You had a religious marriage, I understand.
Do you have a safe place to go to? Is your own family supportive?