What to make of criticism like this?

[EL2022]

Just reading another thread where the OP said her boyfriend was critical of her home and said she needed more stuff in it.

I too was in a relationship (but ex now), where, exactly like above, he sometimes criticised my home, he found it boring to spend time in, I needed more stuff in my kitchen. He also made fun of my car, when driving told me when to overtake etc, made out I didn't like music just because I didn't always know the band etc. Everything he had/ did was always better.

Now, this didn't happen all the time, but looking back on it so I'm more aware in future relationships, I'd be interested in what people would call this.

I call them 'Micro Men', because they try to 'micromanage' EVERYTHING you do/have/say/think/feel just to try to cover their OWN insecurities ! (Usually short stature or micro penis !!)They try to position themselves as the 'authority' on everything e.g Driving/ Music/ Mattresses/ work etc

They NEED to make themselves feel 'superior' in their knowledge/taste etc to hide the fact that they're actually thick as shit and have zero bloody taste in anything !

I shut the last shining example of a 'Micro Man' down in the pub, by saying loudly (in front of his mates) that I preferred my men to be 'full size' NOT 'Fun Size' !

ponders

dickupmanship?

@DFOD 'elevenerife'

😂

I've been speaking to a therapist to help me in the aftermath of this relationship. Based on this and other things I told her, she thinks it's narcissism and told me that, although I can't see it now, I've had a lucky escape. I really don't care what the diagnosis is though, but kicking myself that I let it drag on too long before he coldly discarded me. Kind of a bit shocked also that it's been described as low level abuse, as I thought I was maybe just too sensitive.

I had a similar ex - said we were very different just because we had different interests, but implied his were better. Used to start quizzing me on my knowledge of music in front of his family. Said to me one day "what are you into?", implying that it wasn't much. He also said I was too sensitive.

I'd be interested in what people would call this.

I'd call it 'being very obviously a twat'. More specifically an inadequate, self-centred, insensitive, self-awareness-lacking twat. The only thing to do with men like this is dump them as soon as they display a hint of that kind of behaviour. The only acceptable number of red flags is zero.

It was abuse and to put you down at every chance. Sometimes you can only see it when you are out.

Mine was an absolute lunatic and for sure on a spectrum somewhere.

"You have way too much stuff, when Gandhi died he left behind a toothbrush and a pair of flip flops"

"You can't pronounce words correctly and your accent is really bad"

"This is how you chop a tomato - sideways"

Loads more where that came from but for the record - I had the normal amount of stuff for a woman of 40 - not a hoarder and actually don't buy a lot.

I'm Irish and I've been told by everyone I meet I speak beautifully.

Sideways!

My self esteem was pretty low but once I got shot, my confidence came back full force!

Putting a partner's enjoyments in life down is really mean.

I would expect anyone I am with to enjoy some things I don't like and vice versa. No need to be disparaging about that and obviously there needs to be some common likes to enjoy together.

This wasn't all the time so I used to think maybe I was a bit sensitive. Good to hear I'm not!

I had an ex like this and he really lowered my self esteem. It's only now that I'm out of it I can see how belittling he was.