Conditional bail?

[Startingagain86]

How long does it last for? My partner is on conditional bail and has been for nearly a month, the conditions being he can’t come to the house or contact me. The case (he is being investigated under suspicion of ABH) has only just been sent to the CPS. He has not yet been charged and I have been told that the CPS have 100 days to make their decision. I miss him so much and intend on being with him. Is there a limit to how long the bail conditions can be imposed for? And is it possible to get them changed? Thank you.

He has no criminal record, no convictions and no previous contact with the police. He is not a flight risk.

If he isn’t allowed to contact you then I assume it was you he assaulted.

If you take him back it sends a clear message that you will accept being hurt by him, and he’ll be emboldened by this. He poses a real and dangerous risk to you. Please get some offline support to help you process this.

Why was he arrested for ABH OP? Did he attack you?

How has he behaved? He has been accused of ABH. No charges have yet been made and there has been no court case. The judicial system relies on the idea that you are innocent until proven guilty.

Don't care whether you agree or disagree op. You haven't said he didn't do it. Refused to confirm that it wasn't you. I'll happily draw my own conclusions.

For info, it took almost a year for the CPS to decide not to prosecute my daughter's abuser. Prepare for a bit of a wait. I wish it was forever personally. Unfortunately if you don't have children the law can't protect you from yourself.

The fact that you are not explaining what he is supposed to have done, why someone reported him and the police think it is serious enough to prosecute speaks volumes OP.

Context is everything, OP, and without it, human beings draw their own conclusions.

Hence why I said he is vile

Please value yourself

Please

I think it's because you sound like me and like thousands of other women who have been in similar situations which escalated over time in sometimes horrific ways.

Why are the assumptions made here ridiculous?.

You clearly do not know this man as well as you think you do or did. ABH was never in your worldview re him.

Denial is truly a powerful force.

I don’t want to upset anyone. I have heard the same thing from my friends and family. I know how people feel about cases like this.

Rightly so

My abuser broke my toe

I made excuses for him

He tried to kill me
I tried to make sure he was ok

Everyone thought I was mad

I was so immerged in it all
I could not see the harm the danger the damage

I had no clue

So I speak from experience and I totally get where you are coming from

But you are at serious risk

Sending all good wishes your way

Then he needs a good lawyer to fight the CPS as this has all been a horrid mistake!

Because conditional bail is for people when the police "...believe that they will commit further crimes or that witnesses or victims may be threatened. The police may also refuse bail if they believe that the person may not turn up for court or they have broken bail terms in the past."

You are being protected by the police possibly because you wouldn't make a statement. It would seem that they don't agree with you that he is a harmless innocent. And that is what posters are trying to get you to reconsider... so you can be safe!

If your friends and family, who know him, are saying the same as us complete strangers, then maybe we all have a point.

Posters like @looondonn are sharing their equally naive experiences with you to try and help you not make the same mistakes as they did. Save you the pain and time wasted on getting your head around the realities of your situation.

Like your friends and family we bunch of nosy, anonymous strangers really do only want you to be safe,

"I don’t want to upset anyone".

You're not upsetting anybody but you have been defensive and somewhat bloody minded!.

"I have heard the same thing from my friends and family. I know how people feel about cases like this".

What have your family and friends said?. The same as these other posters have done?.

As for knowing how people feel about cases like this well most people would want to see the perpetrator made fully accountable for their actions, actions they did of their own free will.

My former husband was out on bail for 5 months, then on remand in prison for 4, now sentenced. Not ABH.
This is in the past several months (he was arrested last August Bank Holiday). So, just giving you an idea of what we've been through, timewise. I'm in London, if that adds anything.
It's hard to answer your question though... it's a bit 'how long's a piece of string?'.
You just have to lean into the fact that the police and CPS will be doing their job and at this point, you just have to crack on with your own everyday life.
Don't contact him. The moment he contacts you, he breaks bail conditions (I am fairly certain those will be part of his terms).
You can ask the DC in charge for a copy of his bail terms.

I remember crying when my ex was stopped from seeing me, not because I was relived but because I didn't think it was fair. Incredible now.

OP do you really think that you are the first person to feel sorry for the person who was allegedly violent towards you ?
Read up on hysterical bonding.

Have you requested a Claire's Law disclosure OP? That will let you know for sure there is no offending history/get a true picture.

This is in the hands of the CPS for a reason - run for the hills OP.

Yesss!!

So it turned out my ex also tried to kill his wife on their honeymoon

Found this out with Claire's law

Gosh I feel for you op

Freedom programme can help xxxx

The thing that will be kindest to you most of all, OP, is time.
I hope his bail is long... the silence and the distance from him give you lots of time to reconnect with yourself without his voice or interference. It gives you time to look at the life you've had together and see what life without him is like. Nobody can tell you how to live your life.
But time certainly will show you what you need to know.
You'll be a different woman by the time sentencing comes around.

Would the police be able to update you on a timescale?

This. Hope they go on at least until you see sense. Stop being a doormat

Sorry OP but theres no way he would have conditional bail and it going to CPS if all the things you claim are true - get Claires law disclosure direct from the police, or try and come to terms with the fact he has assaulted you. Because there is no way he would have those conditions and CPS involved unless a) he has history of violence or dv etc or b) the evidence of him assaulting you or being a danger to you was overwhelming. If neither of those things were true like you claim the police would just have pursued a 28day DVPO cooling off approach.

You are clearly in danger no matter what you think. Please take it seriously.

If he didn't assault you and in fact nothing happened, why were the police called in the first place?

I know you are worried about the possible consequences and yes, you miss him, but please spend this enforced time apart thinking about what happened, why it happened, and how you can keep yourself safe. Very few men go straight from hearts and flowers to GBH - it starts with angry words, a push, shaking you, a backhander... but one day, it won't stop there.

There are 3.5 billion men on this planet. You don't deserve to be with one who beats you up, do you?