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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

End of the road

5 replies

JoJo77603 · 10/06/2022 23:15

I've been with my bf for 8 years but feel now we're drifting apart. There is a ton of history - got married - no support financially (my house, he has gambling problem, rather leave than contribute more), no emotional support (I had a very bad self harm incident and ended up in hospital where he told them I was attention seeking), sending inappropriate messages to my daughter because he was jealous of my lodger! (a choice I made to help me financially after he left) I'm not saying I'm the innocent one with being a shopaholic and drinking issues (which both I'm addressing) but I'm now divorced but gf and bf because felt a proper split was too "harsh" (my belief).
Things have changed so much, positively. I haven't self harmed, I don't drink during the week, I've got a part time job. My daughter who's at uni won't come home because of the inappropriate texts my bf has sent - totally understandable.
Where do I go from here? I think it's at the end of the road but just don't know what to do - stupid yes I know but just need reassurance and help in what to do. I know I need to end it but how? We've got a holiday in Sep already paid. I don't think I'll find anyone else.
So sorry for the long post.

OP posts:
ThePoorWeeDonkey · 11/06/2022 04:21

Sounds awful op. What is he saying to your DD? Is he being inappropriate by being nasty about you or being sexually inappropriate?
It sounds to me like it has run its course. Take care of yourself op.

pompomseverywhere · 11/06/2022 05:07

What bits specifically of the relationship are you worried about ending?

Are your finances entwined?

ZekeZeke · 11/06/2022 05:23

I'm confused.
Are you married to this man?
Who owns the home?
If its your home in your name -kick him out.
Do not put up with this behaviour-your poor daughter.

cowsaysmoo · 11/06/2022 05:54

Just take your DD on holiday.

girlmom21 · 11/06/2022 06:05

The end of the road was around 100 miles ago by the sounds of things, honestly.

Your daughter won't come home because of him. He won't help financially. He doesn't actually care about you, given the hospital incident.

A 'proper' split would have been the best thing for you a long time ago.

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