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Original poster

Partner left, what happens to house?

40 replies

Questionseeksanswer · 10/06/2022 21:09

I posted this in legal matters but thought I might get more advice on here. I’m asking this on behalf of a friend. She has 2 kids one 8 and one 10. Her partner left a few weeks ago. At first he was saying he would help with the house etc. Now he’s wanting her to sell the house to divide the equity. Does anyone know where my friend stands legally? They are not married. House is in both their names. She cannot afford the mortgage on her own but would also not be able to buy a 3 bed house on her wage if she sold. Especially with house prices as they are. There’s not much equity in the house so she wouldn’t have much of a deposit but her ex seems desperate for whatever is in there. Appreciate any responses I can pass on as she is worried where her and her kids are going to live. Thanks

OP posts:
LilyMarshall · 10/06/2022 21:18

She needs to see a solicitor. Are the kids his?

Original poster
Questionseeksanswer · 10/06/2022 21:20

Yes both kids are his.

OP posts:
knittingaddict · 10/06/2022 21:23

The house will have to be sold and equity split. The fact that it doesn't buy a three bed house is irrelevant.

My daughter was married and went from a mortgaged 5 bed, 3 bath house to a rented 2 up, 2 down terrace. It's just the reality of separation.

DismantledKing · 10/06/2022 21:25

She needs to see a solicitor. There might be a way to delay the sale until the children are older.

Original poster
Questionseeksanswer · 10/06/2022 21:28

@DismantledKing I think that’s what’s she is hoping, that it can be delayed, she is not wanting to keep the equity etc but right now it’s not in the kids best interests to move house and go into a tiny house where they may have to share a room.

OP posts:
MolliciousIntent · 10/06/2022 21:28

Well, because they're not married, she's pretty screwed. The house will be sold and split, either 50/50 or per whatever terms were drawn up on purchase, and the fact that it won't get her a 3 bed is irrelevant because this isn't a divorce so she has no rights. She should claim CMS asap, and I sincerely hope she wasn't foolish enough to give up working full time without a marriage certificate.

SeasonFinale · 10/06/2022 21:33

She is not married. The house will be sold and the equity split 50/50 if they are joint owners and hold it equally.

There will be no order for a delayed sale, no extra money for her because she has kids etc BECAUSE THEY ARE NOT MARRIED AND ARE NOT GETTING DIVORCED. If he chooses to agree something that would be down to any goodwill he may have.

She can of course claim child maintenance through CMS if they can't agree an amount.

SeasonFinale · 10/06/2022 21:35

DismantledKing · 10/06/2022 21:25

She needs to see a solicitor. There might be a way to delay the sale until the children are older.

Totally incorrect advice but yes see a solicitor who will confirm this to her.

Lazypuppy · 10/06/2022 21:37

Why do women think they have any legal protection if not married 🤦🏼‍♀️ as PP said its not a divorce, just 2 people deciding not to live together anymore

MolliciousIntent · 10/06/2022 21:40

Questionseeksanswer · 10/06/2022 21:28

@DismantledKing I think that’s what’s she is hoping, that it can be delayed, she is not wanting to keep the equity etc but right now it’s not in the kids best interests to move house and go into a tiny house where they may have to share a room.

She's shit out of luck, unfortunately. If this were a divorce, she could potentially get the sale deferred, but they had no legal contract so she has no legal protection.

ScootsMcHoy · 10/06/2022 21:44

He needs to have somewhere to live to as he will need to also be able to adequately house his children when they are with him.

milawops · 10/06/2022 21:45

I am separating from my partner and buying him out of our house. Once she has cms sorted would that make a difference to affording the mortgage?
Unfortunately as PPs have said she doesn't have the protection that marriage would have given her especially if she gave up work/reduced her hours to have the children.

YellowDots · 10/06/2022 21:49

She might not get any maintenance if he has the dc 50% of the time.

Tohaveandtohold · 10/06/2022 21:50

If she can’t afford the mortgage on her own, I think it’s best she starts working out what she earns, If she will be entitled to benefits, cost of rent and if benefits cover it or if she can get a shared ownership mortgage with her share of equity if she can’t afford a house on her own, etc. she needs to be realistic, they were not married

Original poster
Questionseeksanswer · 10/06/2022 21:53

She does do reduced hours and she will have the kids probably 75% of the time. @milawops are you taking him off the mortgage and able to take it on just you? I think she would buy him out but she just doesn’t have the money to do that and would not get the amount she needs on her wage to take the mortgage on herself. What a mess. I feel sorry for the kids as they only moved into the house a year ago. They keep crying about moving again.

OP posts:
milawops · 10/06/2022 22:46

@Questionseeksanswer yes, we have agreed an amount. It's costing about £800 in solicitors fee and £95 in bank fee to change it all over. Im aware that I'm in a fortunate position as I'm the higher earner so it was either buy him out or sell the house and we agreed that it would be best for the kids to stay in their home. Obviously that's not an option for everyone.

milawops · 10/06/2022 22:48

@Questionseeksanswer those poor kids. Fortunately (in a way) mine are too young to understand. The low life is leaving me with a 14 month old and a 5 week old so they will never know any different.

Original poster
Questionseeksanswer · 10/06/2022 22:56

@milawops sorry to hear that but I’m glad you are able to stay in the family home. It is the best option to try and stay in the home if possibly, it’s more upheaval the kids don’t need. Thanks everyone, I will show my friend the comments and tell her to get legal advice

OP posts:
LemonTT · 10/06/2022 23:02

I wish people would stop saying there is no way she can defer the sale because they weren’t married. It’s not true. There is a legal route to this. It’s just different from the legal route available if they were married.

OP, there are provisions within the childrens act that can be used to defer a sale. It won’t be as straightforward forward as if they are married. The lawyers on the legal board have provided this advice in the past. If you search similar posts on there you will find it. Or your friend can see a solicitor.

Its not an automatic right and it won’t be easy. But it is a possibility.

Original poster
Questionseeksanswer · 10/06/2022 23:18

@LemonTT thank you. Yes she has been told by someone else tonight she could possibly defer the sale. Seems mixed in the views whether this is possible though. I will tell her to get proper legal advice. I don’t understand why her ex would want to see his 2 kids move house again after only moving a year ago and settling in, just so he can have a few grand in his pocket. She’s not saying he can’t have the money eventually but what’s the rush?

OP posts:
DixonD · 10/06/2022 23:22

She can refuse to sell. He will have to take her to court to force her - this is a costly and lengthy procedure (experience of a few through work (solicitors)).

Original poster
Questionseeksanswer · 10/06/2022 23:30

@DixonD she was wondering though say if she refused to sell. And she made the mortgage payments herself for the next 2 years. Then would he still get half of what she pays off even though he didn’t contribute? It’s all so confusing I just feel sorry for her and the kids, she’s in shock her partner has left and now having to deal with this.

OP posts:
cestlavielife · 10/06/2022 23:39

Questionseeksanswer · 10/06/2022 23:30

@DixonD she was wondering though say if she refused to sell. And she made the mortgage payments herself for the next 2 years. Then would he still get half of what she pays off even though he didn’t contribute? It’s all so confusing I just feel sorry for her and the kids, she’s in shock her partner has left and now having to deal with this.

Yes
If she in the hpuse he owns half of then she is kind if paying "rent" to be thereso it doexmt matter who pays mortgage
It s about any % set out in the deeds snd if nothing then is 50/50 tho she could claim under childrens act
How much equity is in the house?
If 500 k equity then legal fees would be worth it
If 50 k equity then legal fees could eat up any gain

Original poster
Questionseeksanswer · 10/06/2022 23:47

@cestlavielife im not sure exactly how much equity they have but the gist I get is maybe about 10k each?

OP posts:
MooseBeTimeForSnow · 10/06/2022 23:55

It’s going to cost her more than $10K to take it to court.