Comment made by DH about female attention

[Sundayvibes]

‘ I like attention from women because we’ve been together so long ‘

A comment made by Dh about his excuse for talking to a woman on messenger.

it’s made me feel like crap and knocked my self esteem.

what do others think?

im not happy at all ☹️

It's a stupid thing to say. Its probably true.

It concerns me that it knocks your self esteem? You shouldn't rely on someone else to make you feel worth while and desirable.

Especially not someone who sounds so uncaring and thoughtless with your feelings.

Male here. I'd never dream if saying something like this to my DP...

Don’t let it knock you. He’s letting you know he isn’t trustworthy. He’s being a slime and it’s the first steps towards cheating.

Plus he feels justified. He’s being a prick. You’re great, nothing wrong with you. His behaviour and character however are very low.

I think that's the end, not something I would accept. I bet he'll soon regret losing you, then too bad too sad!

So he's chatting to random women?

I guess at least he’s being honest. This is the truth that most of them hide before going off and having an affair. Now you know that’s how he feels you can work out what you want to do with it.

For me it would depend on the context of the relationship - are you going through a rough patch, is he blaming you for not giving him enough attention generally? Has he already communicated these feelings to you? Is that true or justified given his own attitude and behaviour? Is there enough good stuff and good will to try and fix this?

I’d be looking at the marriage overall and trying to discern if this is a ‘cry for help’ confession or whether he’s just trying to justify being caught out. Either way I don’t blame you for feeling crap about it. But forewarned is forearmed as they say. You know where he stands and that’s a good place to start.

I'd think, what an absolute luxury size assclown.
Of course, you're not happy at all.
He's just basically said he's bored with you. Bastard.
I wonder if The Big Prize himself has had a good look in the mirror lately.

He is blaming his bad behaviour on you for keeping him attached, charming.
Ask him if he would prefer to be single.

Yeah, that’s not something I’d ever accept from my husband. Your “D”H is a wanker.

Well he's saying he's not interested in you and prefers other women. So I'd be off. Why stick around to be so disrespected?

Someone from his school days.
we’re mid 40s now though.
all done as secrecy.
only found out as he mentioned it whilst drunk to my brother.

It may be true, perhaps for a lot of people, but taking about it to anyone is not cool. Does he know your brother told you?

Of course he does. As do many other men and women in long term relationships. The difference is that most have the common sense to admit it only in the privacy of their own heads.
No reason for you to feel bad. He's not saying he's attracted to other women, just that he gets a little boost if he thinks they might be attracted to him.

Ah just seen he's actually seeking this out and chatting to them. That's different entirely to unsolicited attention.

Your husband is cheating on you. Are you going to tolerate this?

That would be a no for me dog.

I’m not sure it’s technically cheating if he’s only talking to women, likely flirting.

id not put up with it myself and I’m sure the intent is there, but I’m not sure if class it as cheating at this stage.

Would he be ok with you doing the same?

He’s just pretty much told you that, if some woman is open to it, he will cheat on you

I’m not sure it’s technically cheating if he’s only talking to women, likely flirting.

It's a secretive, inappropriate relationship with someone who isn't his wife. It's cheating. It may not be physical yet, but it's every bit as damaging to a marriage.

My 3rd LTB of the evening…

He’s taking the piss

And the same is presumably OK for you ..... if not, why not?

Is this a PB?

Sounds like his is grooming you OP to forgive any future infidelity.