Yes or no ?

[Sunshineacloud]

Would you want to be with someone who hates cuddles ? I love him but it’s hard it makes me feel unloved. What can I do ? Should I stay or should I go ?

Try and find out your love language together.

For example, he might be an "acts of service" kind of guy. So he will think doing jobs around the house is showing he loves you.
Your love language is clearly physical touch so he can then make an effort with that.

If this doesn't make any sense, have a Google. It's really great to try and see things from your partners point of view 🥰 xx

Hi , thanks it’s very interesting about love languages! I guess his love language is doing stuff around the house acts of service. Mine are opposite. What can you do about it seems like it’s not fair on both of us . I just want to cuddle and spend time together while he wants fix things

Oh no wouldn’t be with anyone who would’t give effection. If you ask me he might be gay, not into ladies at all.

Been with someone like this for 7 years, absolutely hates any kind of affection. People look at us and wouldn't think for a minute that we're partners as he's very distant. He doesn't have a love language where as mine is very verbal.

I think you should look at the bigger picture
Personally i couldn’t stand a partner that wanted to cuddle all the time so I can see his POV
if you love him then to end of because he is otherwise loving but not keen on cuddles seems madness to me

I don't like cuddles or hugs either , unless it's kids! I've always been like that

I know the feeling when we are walking somewhere he just walks next to me like a stranger not even talk much . Confused.com. I know he loves me but it really grates on me . And I don’t want to sound ungrateful he is a very good man

You're not compatible. Anyone who posts on a forum 'Yes or no?' re their relationship needs to get out. That simply doesn't happen in healthy relationships.

I’ve always had doubts so confused sometimes feel like it’s not a big deal but sometimes want to leave I do love him

Love isn't enough. You must have heard that before.

If you choose to spend the majority of your time with someone you feel 'unloved' with, you choose to spend your time feeling unloved. Why would anybody choose that?

What would happen in healthy relationships if your love languages are different?

It's just like any other language. You either learn from each other's languages so that you can communicate in a way that works for both of you, or you don't have a relationship.

Is he open to learning? How does he respond when you talk to him about this?

I have one like this. Lol. Needs to fix things and do things. Devoted to me but forgets that I need physical touch as much, if not more, than the car washed and bins sorted.
I miss cuddles so I put it on his list of jobs (verbally - not on the fridge although that's not a bad idea come to think of it), hardly romantic but he needs reminding that stroking my leg whilst watching TV for instance is something I want. Once I tell him straight and why, then he'll do it. Doesn't exactly come naturally especially when the novelty years have long gone and our libidos are barely there due to age, work and familiarity etc. I like just touching somehow, and our bloody great sofa doesn't help as we have our cosy separate ends now as well.

Tell him explicitly is my advice, so what if it's not spontaneous. If he does it after being asked even though it's not what comes naturally it shows even more that's he's trying. I'm sure he has a list of what I'm not doing but he's got more patience than me and rarely tells me when I'm bugging him or winding him up with my demands or over thinking. Whenever I get frustrated, I try and remind myself how accepting he is of my quirks and failings. I would drive me mad some days!

Sounds like you are not unloved, just love in a different style to the way you show love.

We are all different, I would far rather my DH fixed things around the house and washed my car rather than 'cuddled me' .... in fact the thought of sharing a sofa and having my leg stroked would genuinely irritate me .

This is very, very similar to my ex. He didn't like cuddles, he only touched me when he wanted sex or to just to be playful or annoy me. And like you when we walked together most people would think we were just friends. Even his DD once made a comment that we acted like we were just friends. And that's exactly how it felt, I never felt like we were a couple at all.

Oddly, I thought he wasn't affectionate at all but he was very affectionate and loving with his youngest DD and one of his Ddogs. I used to joke that he should date one of them as he seemed to be by the looks of it already. 😂

Oh and to add to that he also showed his "love" by fixing things and he felt loved if I did things for him. It's something you just have to accept but I need physical touch and words sometimes otherwise I feel like we are just FWBs 😂

Myself & DH have completely different love language and it really works. You just have to make sure you put the effort in (him & you) to show love to your partner through their love language. You also need appreciate the acts he is doing to show his love.

That's why I would recommend doing the online test together and then discussing the results and what you need etc. I think it really helps to understand your partner better xx

No because i like cuddles and intimacy

I'm with you @Ragwort