Is it time to call it a day

[Windyevening]

I'm 50 next month and over the years my husband has got more and more moody and stressful to live with.
In fact most of the time he's very unpleasant to live with.
We have virtually stopped communicating with each other and really have no relationship.
I know I'd probably, maybe, happier without him but after 30 years of being together I'm frightened to think about going alone.
We have 3 grown-up children, I just don't know what to do.

Feel the fear and do it anyway. Fear of him and fear of the unknown are possible reasons here for you currently being unable to break away. You're 50 so not that bloody old!. Make your 51st year on Planet Earth a happier and certainly a more freer one for you, like is too short to live in such misery given you could well live for another 30 or so years. I do not think you would want to become his carer either.

There is no point whatsoever in living like this and am certain too your adult children will be relieved that you've finally got shot of him. Moody behaviour like he shows you is an example of emotional abuse and if a friend was telling you this, your counsel to her would be using the word "divorce". Seek legal advice (after all knowledge is power) and contact Womens Aid; they also have an online chat facility.

Do it. Life’s too short to waste on a poor relationship. I was your age when I ended my marriage and I’m so glad I did!

It’s been a hard journey but I’m so glad of the peace in my life.

He clearly isn't happy either. Or he wouldn't be behaving like that.

Life is too short. You deserve happiness. And to live in a warm light peaceful relaxed home.

Its not easy. Having those conversations and putting the wheels in motion. And the first year is pretty tough. But you don't have to live like this.

I live alone now. Its peaceful. There's hardly any work to do round the house. You could be like that. Once the house is sold and you've somewhere new, your life would be happier. No moodiness at home. No bollocks to deal with. I'd do it.

Neither of you sound happy, something has to change. Either you change together or split and go your separate ways. But do not stay in this rut...

Read the thread 'happily embracing single life'- it will tell you everything you need!!!!

If you've got to the point where you're asking strangers on a forum whether you should stay in your relationship, you should have left a long time ago. What if the majority of people say you should stay?

'Why are you with your partner?'
'Because Mumsnet said.'

What are you hoping for from the thread?

Have you talked about or considered marriage counselling? You may well be happier single, but do you think there's any merit in exploring why you're both unhappy together and whether he has the capacity to listen and change?

What are you frightened about, finances or being alone ?

Thank you for your replies.
I guess I'm just frightened of being alone.
I spoke to him before leaving for work and asked him to think about what he wants from our relationship.
I would be up for counselling as I know that we do sometimes have great times together

Being alone isn't frightening though. Not at all. I have a handyman if I need something like that. My finances are clear as I have a spreadsheet. Sometimes I come in from work and think, ahhh a whole night alone, and I get all my jobs done, have a lovely shower and relax the whole night. Other times I come in, get changed and go out immediately and no one cares when I decide to come home.

Living alone is great. You manage your house now right? Do you talk to him much? I use my journal every day when I need to talk or work something out. It's not scary at all, its very peaceful and you can make a lot of progress with what you want to do. I'm a musician in my spare time and it takes up a lot of time. No guilt about that now!

asked him to think about what he wants from our relationship

What do you want, from your life? Whilst he's thinking about what he wants, paint yourself a picture of how your ideal life would look. Start making changes, for you. Once you realise you're a brilliant, nurturing, supportive, caring friend to yourself, being alone will look like a treat.

What would make today good for you? What would make this hour feel good for you? View life through those goggles.

Advice!!!

Thanks for that genius response, @Pentiumgold

I was meaning 'What advice are you hoping to hear? Yes, call it a day or no, don't call it a day?'

You’re a long time dead.
Yes, get out of this relationship and start living 💐

At the moment it could go either way, hence the post

Sorry @Pentiumgold , are you OP or a deputy?

Actually both due to idiosyncrasies on behalf of mumsnet