Not sure I like men anymore

[FemaleHumans]

Not sure that this is the right place to post this.

NCed for obvious reasons, all will have to be vague about some details as too outing.

So I'm in my early 50s with 2 children in mid and late teens. Left my partner (not their father) 5 years ago. Since then I have not been interested in males at all. I feel repulsed at the idea of my ex and I DTD, I feel repulsed at the thought of him full-stop. I have not felt any attraction to any other man since bar a quick fling.

I've a wide circle of friends including some wonderful lesbians, one of whom I find attractive. She is what I would call a 'handsome' woman. (If that makes sense). Have been to a few female-only parties and have found that the warmth, joy and closeness I've felt to those women has far surpassed any of the rush I've felt in the past at meeting a new man which I've had chemistry with.

I don't know what is happening to me. I've always glanced a bit too long at beautiful women but in the past I honestly I thought that it was a lack of self-esteem causing me to be jealous, ie wish I was her? I've never had any sort of lesbian relationship before, and even now I'm not sure what I want to have a sexual relationship with a woman.

Anyone else felt like this before? Is it that I came out of a relationship with a man that physically and mentally disgusted towards the end? And am just gravitating towards women because of that? But then I think of other men I've slept with and I feel a little yukky at the thought of them too.

I just had a thought tho, could it be that it is a peri-menopausal thing (GP suggested last week that I probably am).

Anyway sorry for the ramble. Just don't know what is going on with me. My SIL came out as a lesbian around the same age as me. I don't think this is what is going on, but, just not sure!

Maybe you're bisexual?

I had some pretty awful experiences with my first husband, but it didn't stop me fancying men. I now have a lovely 2nd DH. The thought of being with a woman sexually makes me feel sick. So I would imagine you could be Bi.

Perhaps I am. Never really thought about it before. I just don't fancy men AT ALL right now, the thought of the peen revolts me.
Perhaps it is a symptom of being peri-menopausal too. Sigh.

I don't think it's anything to do with peri or menopause. I'm 52 and still fancy men. Mind you, I have not been thru menopause yet.

Maybe you just lost the rose colored glasses so to speak, I mean men are pretty revolting as a class (I know someone is gonna come and scream misandry bla bla bl, but c’mon).

But people still want company, be it companionship, being part of a team, romantic or physical or whatever.

Or,
It’s still very amatonormativity society, so you may just think you have to have a partner. And if men have left you shaken, you just turned to women instead.

Or yeah, you could be late blooming lesbian or bi, that happens. it’s not that unsual.

This sort of happened to me, OP, so I know what you mean. I loathed my ex so much that I convinced myself that I must be gay. I went on to have a relationship with a woman but it wasn't right for me, so I went back to men. Not sure that worked out either, so I'm now happily alone.
Some people say that sexuality is on a spectrum, so it's possible you're mid way between straight and gay?

You're not obliged to feel anyone attractive, and until it comes to the point where you and another person find each other attractive enough to want to do something about it, it's just labels.

You don't need a label, and sexuality doesn't fit into neat little boxes. You can't say you don't find men attractive because you don't fancy any right now. You can't say you find women attractive just because you think they're really nice. Your sexuality is what it is at any given moment: if you don't fancy anybody currently, you don't need to label that. If, one day, you fancy a woman, fine. If, one day, you fancy a man, fine. It's that simple.