Have namechanged for this as DH knows my usual name on here.
Been together almost 8 years, have 2 DC aged 2 and 6 months. Would say our relationship is mainly happy, he is great with the kids and really pulls his weight there. Not good at seeing what needs to be done in the house etc but will happily do stuff I ask him to.
Prekids we discussed that we wanted 3, but after DC2 we have now kind of decided 2 is good for our family and we're done (though obviously DC2 is still young and things can change). Have had many chats about this and he's always seemed to be agreeing.
I had bad PND with DC1 and DH was a great support, I know he found it hard too and I wasn't the easiest to deal with, crying a lot and being very stubborn and protective and a bit PFB. Didn't have the same issues with DC2 but obviously struggled a little with adjusting to 2 young kids and had down days.
Anyway I've noticed recently that whenever people ask if we're done or want more kids, DH always brings up my moods and that I am always "in a dark place" the first few months and so a 3rd DC is out of the question. Like it's all on me. I was actually really proud of how well I thought I'd handled DC2 after the nightmare with DC1 and so this has really hurt me. Plus I thought we were on the same page...and it's fine if he actually would like 3 but every time we talk he says he agrees 2 is good.
This has also made me think about all the other little things he says to me, like "oh actually you're not that negative a person" and "when you're upset I get affected by that" - so then I bend over backwards trying to be happy and positive but it's just not easy all the time especially with young DC!
Every time I try to talk to him about it he apologises profusely but then doesn't change his behaviour. What to do??
(sorry for the long post)